Tale of Two Cocks
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Tale of Two Cocks
This adventure began on our honeymoon. I call it Tale of Two Cocks. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. Two cocks as in roosters.
I won’t mention the year but we went to Havana, Cuba for our honeymoon so you know it was some time ago.. My husband loved sports – any kind, any place. He had always wanted to see a cockfight and he had heard that they were legal in Cuba.
The concierge in our honeymoon hotel – that’s another story – suggested we ask the senores in the bodega (bar) down the street for directions. Since Rocky, my lovable husband, didn’t speak Spanish at the time, I was the principal interpreter with my limited vocabulary of high school Spanish.
We marched fearlessly into the bar and I approached the bartender. But first, how was I going to ask? What the devil was the name for cocks, or more exactly, roosters? Well, I did know the word for fighting – luchando – and although I didn’t remember ever learning a word for roosters, I did know chickens – pollos – figuring that was close enough.
So in my best bilingual manner, I asked him, “Donde estan los pollos luchandos?” Where are the fighting chickens? He looked at us for several moments without a word and I could imagine wheels spinning inside his brain. Then he understood. “Si, si,” he said. “Yo entiendo.” I understand.
He gestured that we should follow him as he walked out from behind the bar and straight out the door. The four viejos (old) men who had been in the bar followed us, too. We paraded for several blocks until we came to a bus stop and the bartender, our guide and interpreter, motioned we should wait there for the bus. So we did and so did our five-man entourage.
Soon a very old, rickety-looking bus with open sides came along and our guide motioned it to stop. He had a short conversation with the driver gesticulating at us, the gringos, and we boarded the bus. There were about 20 local folks on the bus, and it wouldn’t have been so crowded except three of the passengers had goats with them. Real live goats – on the bus. I remember wondering if the goats represented pets or dinner.
For the Folks Who Love Cockfights
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The Journey
Mercifully, the ride was only about twenty minutes because as we soon discovered, the bus had no springs and the city streets were not paved – they were actually bricks set in a haphazard manner. It felt like riding in a vehicle, and I use the word loosely, that had square wheels.
We arrived at our destination. We knew we were there because the driver stopped the bus, got off, followed by several of the bus riders who wanted to watch this action, and one of their goats. The driver pointed up the nearest street and said, “Los pollos luchandos estan dos calles.” We started up the block with the driver, the passengers and the goats watching us go.
This was real adventure. We were excited. My high school Spanish was working for us. Two blocks up we saw an enclosure with a ticket taker in the front and a very large sign, “ZOO.” My husband was hysterical; I didn’t think it was so funny. Our bartender/guide had given us the directions to the place where we could find fighting chickens – if they were angry at each other – the local Zoo.
I’ll never know if we were victims of a local joke or victims of my poor Spanish, but the ticket-taker saved the day. He knew where the biggest local cockfight was and phoned for a taxi. We arrived at the fight site without incident and seated ourselves in the stands.
The Cockfight
Now Rocky not only liked sports, he liked to gamble on sports so he looked around and saw a fellow waving pesos in the air beckoning for someone to match his bet. He motioned he would bet on the other cock and a second fellow held the money.
The fight started. There was a small problem. One of the cocks was white, the other mostly black. But we didn’t know which was our cock. Who should we root for? The solution was to watch the other bettor.
The two roosters wore little sharp steel razors strapped to their heels so thankfully, as far as I was concerned, the cockfight did not last long. One of the cocks was killed. Now the problem – how do we know if we won or lost? “Watch the other guy,” I said. “If he looks unhappy, we won.” Sure enough, he looked like it was the end of the world and the middle man approached us with our winnings.
So Rocky made ten pesos and saw his first and last cockfight. To end the story with a moral: It’s a wise man who knows his own cock.
© Copyright BJ Rakow 2010. All rights reserved.
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You won hehehe, cockfighting is legal in the country I came fiorm drbj, Philippines and we grow rooster which my dad used for cockfighting hehe, Thanks for this share, I know you enjoyed your trip and what an experience, Maita
laugh out loud.
This was very funny. Know your own cock!!!!!
Thanks for this wonderful story. As you i, can't stand animals fighting and dying, but as i was progressing in your story it was just like i was there watching it. I really love yr writing and stories. Pls keep on. I can't understand why Google flagged it!!!
... well gee I`m kinda disappointed I thought this hub was gonna be about something entirely different - a bride, her groom and his best man!!!!
I love your moral!! hehehe.. To see your faces at the zoo, now that would have been priceless! I can only imagine it..
What a funny story. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for the entertaining story! A wise man really HAD better know his cock! (Boy, did that make me laugh!) I'm glad you two eventually made it to the place and got to see a real live cock fight, and you even won the bet! Great story!
I had to read your story when I saw the title, a little bit disappointed when I saw it wasn't what I thought it would be. The disappointment went away just as quickly after I started reading..I think you guys were the victims of a joke that ended well..love the part about a wise guy who knows his own cock (LOL)
This is sick and wrong on so many levels. The title alone should have you permanently censored from the pages of Hub and sent straight to the Penthouse forums. And did I mention it was hysterical?
I love it! I laughed MAO while reading the first paragraph of "The Journey". Square wheels...very funny. So happy I found and read this hub. Bookmarking it to return to when I need a good laugh. So very happy to have you share this. Bit thumbs up!
Well drbj, a man needs to know more about his cock. If you're going to bet on it, play with it, or just show it off, we should know more about it.
Now let me just stop laughing.... I honestly wanted to be a serious and objective judge, making a righteous verdict in the case fagger versus drbj.... then Epi’s hilarious comment cracked me. Then Micky, exposing the profoundness of the English language, almost makes me cry.
Smile-smile-smile....
The faggers obviously cannot read, or they cannot see any words behind or next to the cocks they see in their minds. Some words do struck some people with blindness, you know.
I enjoyed this story, drbj, though I can’t handle two cocks while they are fighting with each other. Even giraffe males, when they slam each others with those long necks of them - no blood, no killing - give me the creeps. But, and I admit this blushing, I am, sometimes, too cocky for my size.
Thank you drbj for sharing this amusing story. Looking back to those days is really funny now. Truly enjoyed reading it.


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jacobkuttyta Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago
Very interesting story. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it with us.