Crazy Laws in Florida and Fun Facts – Part Tw0

The fart law? The elephant and the parking meter? Sex with porcupines?

Which one of those crazy Florida STATE laws made you laugh the most in Part One? Whichever … get ready for more hilarity reading these crazy dumb laws enacted in the CITIES of Florida.

• In Big Pine Key – It is illegal to molest a Key deer.

This small deer species is often friendly but please do not take advantage of them. If you know what I mean.

• In Cape Coral City – A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport.

Do not allow your couch to be a slouch. Teach it to stand.

• In Daytona Beach – The molestation of trash cans is banned.

Somebody has to protect those poor, abused, defenseless trash cans.

• Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.

I guess that means rednecks are not welcome.

What’s a redneck, you ask? … “You might be a redneck if your parents met at a family reunion.” – Jeff Foxworthy, comedian

• In Destin – It is illegal for an owner of a store to allow another person to pass out free ducklings in front of the store.

Why ducklings? Why for free? Why such a weird law?

• A law states that a cat that viciously chases passers-by is a ‘bad cat’.

It was probably a cat from Colorado* who refused to wear a taillight that inspired this law.

* See “Crazy Laws in the State of Colorado.”

• If you wish to go swimming in the ocean, get dressed in your hotel room.

I would suggest you wear casual clothing rather than your best clothes that could easily be ruined by the salt water.

• If you like to ride your bicycle in Destin, do not lean it up against a tree in a cemetery.

• It is illegal to drive over graves in a cemetery.

• If you notice an ice-cream man attempting to sell his cold concoctions in a cemetery, call the police immediately, for that is illegal.

Do you think that the folks in Destin seem to be overly concerned with cemeteries?

Or with potential retribution from disturbing their inhabitants?

• In Hialeah – Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

Better run like he!! when you are in that city.

• In Key West – Chickens are considered a ‘protected species.’

The folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken are in a whole mess of trouble.

• In Miami Beach – No one may bring a pig with them to the beach.

Wait a minute! You can’t talk about my girlfriend like that.

• In Pensacola – A woman can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.

So … who pays the fine? Just wonderin’.

• In Sarasota – If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.

Is that with or without an automobile?

• You may not catch crabs.

Stop snickering… you know what I mean.

• In Satellite Beach – Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.

Whoa! Were citizens really appearing in public covered with liquid latex?

• In Tampa – Women may not expose their breasts while performing ‘topless dancing.’

Sort of like semi-topless dancing.

• Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

Is that a physical possibility?

• Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.

What the …?

And this one has to be one of my all-time favorites:

• Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.

Sounds like a plan. Just one question. Who informs the rats?

• In Broward County – Persons may not be “inappropriately attired” who work at hot dog stands.

I know the specific reason for this bizarre law. Not long ago, the owner of a chain of mobile hot dog carts located at busy traffic intersections employed beautiful, young, nubile women wearing only bikini bras and thongs to sell hot dogs.

Traffic accidents soon became a daily occurrence.

If you missed “Crazy Laws in the State of Florida and Fun Facts – Part One” read it NOW!

“An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.” - Anonymous

• The Overseas Highway is a 127.5 mile route (U.S. 1) from Miami to Key West which traverses the Florida Keys and includes the famed Seven-Mile Bridge.

Note: The 7-mile bridge is actually 6.79 miles.

• Islamorada is billed as the Sports Fishing Capital of the World.

Note: The name, Islamorada, or purple island, came from early Spanish explorers. Want to sound like a native? Then pronounce it ‘aisle-a-more-AH-dah.’

• Key Largo is known as the Dive Capital of the World.

• Venice is known as the Shark Tooth Capital of the World. Collecting prehistoric shark’s teeth has been a favorite pastime of visitors and residents of the Venice area for years

Note: C.megalodon teeth are the largest of any shark, extinct or living. This shark lived during the late Oligocene epoch and Neogene period, about 1.5 million years ago, and ranged to a maximum height of about 60 feet.

The largest teeth are more than 7 inches in height.

• Stuart’s nickname is the Sailfish Capital of the World.

Note: Sailfish may grow to more than 9.8 feet in length and weigh over 200 pounds.

• Boca Raton in Palm Beach County means rat’s mouth in Spanish. But the words mean more than that to a sailor. ‘Boca de Ratones’ is a term used to describe a shallow inlet of hidden sharp-pointed rocks which might scrape the cables of a ship.

• The longest river sailboat race in the world is the Annual Mug Race held on St. Johns River. The course runs 38.5 miles from Palatka to Jacksonville.

Important: Your sailboat mast must be less than 44 feet high in order to clear all the bridges along the course.

• Siesta Key Beach won an award in 1987 for having the finest, whitest beach sand in the world. It is 99% pure quartz crystal and is therefore cool to the feet.

• Ernest Hemingway lived in Key West from 1931 to 1939. His home is now a museum and popular tourist attraction.

Note: Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West was Hemingway’s favorite watering hole.

• Key West has more bars per capita than any other place in the U.S.

• Walt Disney World Resort encompasses 30,500 acres – it is approximately the same size as the city of San Francisco.

Note: Every day an average of 210 pairs of sunglasses are turned in to the Disney Lost and Found.

• Mickey Mouse has more than 290 outfits ranging from a scuba suit to a tuxedo with lights. Minnie has more than 200 from cheer leading outfits to evening gowns.

• Florida is the only state that borders both the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico.

• Ochopee has the smallest post office in the U.S. It used to be a storage shed for a tomato farm which was converted when the original post office in the general store was destroyed by a fire.

• Carabelle has the smallest police station in the U.S. The police phone had been located in a call box bolted to the side of a building. To keep officers dry when it rained, the phone was moved to a retired phone booth.

• Cassadaga, home of the Cassadaga Spiritualist Camp, is known as the psychic capital of the world. A large number of psychics and mediums reside there.

• Sweetwater was founded by a troupe of Russian circus midgets whose bus broke down. I kid you not. In 1938, these former circus performers acquired lots in the ‘Sweetwater Groves’ tract and built mini-scaled homes. For years, Sweetwater was known as the ‘midget community.’

• The state gem for Florida is the moonstone.

Note: The moonstone does not occur in Florida but following the Apollo 11 mission in which astronauts launched from Cape Canaveral landed on the moon, the state designated the moonstone as the state gemstone.

The moonstone does not occur on the moon either.

Significant Statistics

• Number of people who move to Florida each day – 1,000

• Number of hotel rooms in Florida - 370,000 plus

• Number of campgrounds – 700 with 100,000 campsites

• Number of people who camp in Florida each year – 6 million

• Miles of sand beaches – 663

State Symbols

• State nickname – The Sunshine State

• State reptile – Loggerhead sea turtle and American alligator

• State motto – In God We Trust

• State fruit – orange

• State beverage – orange juice (what else?)

Note: Florida produces about 75% of the oranges in the U.S. and 40% of the world’s orange juice supply.

• State butterfly – zebra longwing

• State bird – mockingbird

• State pie – Key lime pie

• State song – Swanee River by Stephen Foster

• State tree – sabal palm palmetto

• State fish – Florida largemouth bass (freshwater) and Atlantic sailfish (salt water)

• State flower – orange blossom

• State mammals – Florida panther and manatee (sea cow) and porpoise (bottlenose dolphin)

I love living in Florida but every summer I am reminded of this quote:

"August in Florida is God's way of reminding us who's in charge." – Blaize Clement

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2015. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."