Fokk University Entrance Exam
77Fokk University Entrance Exam
Have you have heard about Fokk University – the institution of higher learning that graduates fondly refer to as Fokk U? Note: if you have been living on another planet and are not aware of this fine, felicitous fount of universal knowledge, you are invited to read “Fokk University.”
The demand for matriculation has been so tremendous, we have been forced for the first time in our history to require applicants to take an entrance exam. Yes, it is legal to do so as long as we give the same identical test to every candidate. In order not to deprive any worthwhile applicant of this collegial opportunity, our Board of Directors has authorized the publication of said entrance exam together with relevant information to assist deprived, yea, even depraved, potential students.
Take the Fokk University Entrance Exam
Part One
Please find a sheet of paper to post your answers to these 16 questions. First, place the numbers 1 through 16 upon your paper in a vertical manner. Write each of your answers down next to the appropriate number. These questions have been validated by the honorable Dimitrius De Greek, Professor of PseudoScience, Fock U.
Each question has been devised to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing. They are stated simply so answer them quickly. Do not take more than 10 seconds to answer each question.
1. What is the most common use for cowhide?
2. You are a runner in a foot race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
3. If you overtake the last person, then you are . . . ?
4. This is a simple arithmetic question. Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. Quickly, what is the total?
5. Mary's father has five daughters - Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono, and . . . . . What is the name of the fifth daughter?
6. A mute woman goes into a store and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing her teeth, she successfully expresses herself to the salesperson and purchases the toothbrush. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses. How does he indicate what he wants?
7. This was my old telephone number: (314) 159-2654. What does it remind you of?
8. What kind of cheese is made backwards?
9. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?
10. Some months have 30 days. Some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
11. A dairy farmer owned 38 cows, and all but 7 died. How many were left?
12. If you had only one match and entered a very cold, dimly-lit room where there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a wood-burning stove, which would you light first?
13. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s half-sister?
14. This is an unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so common you might think nothing at all was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Study it and think about it. You still may not find anything odd, so work at it a bit, Why is it so unusual?
15. What word has been mispelled in this entrance exam?
Famous Fokk Graduates
Part Two
Follow the directions for each statement and drbj will read your mind.
16 – This multi-part question has several directions. Write down your two final answers opposite number 16 on your paper.
a- Think of a number from 1 to 10.
b- Multiply that number by 9.
c- If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together.
d- Now subtract 5.
e- Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with. Example: A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, D = 4, etc.
f- Now think of a European country that starts with that letter.
g- Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
h- Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
i- Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
j- Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.
k- Remember the last letter in the name of that fruit.
l- Think of a large animal that starts with that letter. Write down the name of that animal.
m- What color is that animal? Write down the color of that animal.
Bonus Question
Read the following sentence quickly just once and count every f.
‘Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years.’
How many ‘f’s did you find? Write the number down.
We believe in the “Honor System” here at Fokk University, so we are certain you will not read the answers before you finish this exam. Keep in mind that drbj has the power to read your mind!
INTERMISSION
Take a short recess. Are you aware that much of what we know just ain’t so. How about this familiar adage, “The lion is the king of the jungle.”
Is he? Take a look at this video.
Will you still believe that the lion is the king of the jungle after viewing this video?
Much of what you know about Job Search, like the lion, just ain't so!
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Answers to Part One
1. Did your answer include something made of leather? Like a wallet, belt or shoes? WRONG! The most common use for cowhide is to cover the cow and hold the insides in.
2. If you answered that you are now first, WRONG! If you overtake the second person, then you take his or her place, YOU are in second place!
3. Did you answer that you are now second to last? WRONG! How is it possible for you to overtake the LAST person in the first place?
4. Did you answer 5,000? WRONG! The correct answer is actually 4,100. Try it again – this time with your calculator.
5. Did you Answer Nunu? Good choice. But WRONG! The daughter’s name is Mary. Read the question again.
6. Ready? The blind man speaks and asks for sunglasses.
7. The answer is pi. In mathematics, a transcendental number, approximately 3.14159, represented by the symbol for pi expresses the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle.
8. The answer is EDAM cheese – it is “made” spelled backwards.
9. The answer is NONE. It was Noah on the Ark, not Moses.
10. The correct answer is 12 or all of them. Every month has at least 28 days. Unless Congress passes another bill.
11. Simple. We told you. “All but 7 died.” So 7 were left!
12. The match.
13. It is IMPOSSIBLE. If the man had a widow he would be dead.
14. Did you figure out why that paragraph is unusual? Why it is odd? There is no ‘e’ in that paragraph.
15. The word is . . . (drum roll here) . . . ‘misspelled’.
Answers to Part Two
16. The answers are . . . are you ready for me to read your mind? The answers are ‘gray elephant’. Don’t applaud; just send money.
Answer to Bonus Question
There are six ‘f’s. Really! Read it again! Research (probably funded by the government) indicates that for some unknown reason our brains find it difficult to process the ‘f’ in the word, ‘of’
Scoring Your Answers
Give yourself one point for each correct answer. The two answers for question #16 are worth ½ point each. Now add your correct answers.
15 – 16 correct Rocket scientist
12 – 14 correct High school student
9 – 11 correct Kindergarten student
6 – 8 correct Teacher
3 – 5 correct University professor
0 -- 2 correct Member of Congress
On the bonus question. Anyone who counts all 6 ‘f’s on the first try is a genius. Finding 4 is rare. 3 is normal.
- Aerobatics at DRBJs Fokk University
Just like in the WWII movies, the small Cessna screamed spinning vertically towards the ground, turning around and around itself on its own axis. Its nose seemed determined to hit a very specific spot... - Fokk University
Fokk University is often referred to by its graduates as Fokk U. - Tshirts and tshirts and tees
History of T-shirts. So, who invented the T-shirt? Once upon a time in merrie olde England, in a rustic cottage in a small village in winter time, a husband felt chilled and called to his wife, Old woman, bring me ...
If you scored 16 correct, you are Fokk U material. Welcome!
If your score is less than 16, do not despair. You may take the Fokk entrance exam over again. And again. And again. Let these quotes guide you:
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. – Quentin Crisp
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. – Author Unknown
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no use in being a damn fool about it. – W.C. Fields
If at first you do succeed – try to hide your astonishment. – Author Unknown
Coming soon: special entrance exam and answers for the new Fokk U pre-med and pre-law programs.
Source: "Lion" video, "Amazing Videos," Tim Blackstone. Thank you, Tim.
© Copyright BJ Rakow 2010. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
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OMG you have made my day...this is exactly the place I have been looking for, how did you know? It's a hubpages graduation, wow did you already get your degree? Oh silly me, of course you did your here, on hubpages a famous writer.
Did you like stay awake for days go answer these questions...love this, thumbs up boyfriend...
I knew, Jane, that you would recognize the spirit and dedication in the faces of those former infamous Fokk U graduates.
Bless you for not only being the first to comment, but for possessing the emotional stamina to recover from the shock of that unfortunate episode when Professor Gonad had that unforeseen accident. Do you recall his dying words? "I regret that I have but one life to give for ... Fokk U!"
Yes, we have had so many people clamoring for entrance to our estimable institution (they have literally been breaking the windows to get in) that we had to enlarge the exam from 1 to 16 questions.
How clever of you to recognize those buffalo! Your name will forever be inscribed on the walls of ... well, inscribed on the walls!
Darlene, we will be delighted to welcome you to our venerable institution. But think it over carefully; do not be rash. The only thing required is lots and lots and lots of cash!
So you recognized that I had to stay awake to formulate these questions? I must admit that it is the shock of Prof. Gonad's untimely demise that keeps me from sleeping. But that shall pass. Unlike many of our students!
Thank you for the thumbs up and "loving" this. Sincerely, Fokk U.
This was fun. I must say i would not pass the entrance exam.I watched the video and was terrified, then so happy when the buffalo came back to rescue the baby. I enjoyed this hub immensely!!
Good Doctor bj - Entrance exams to great universities, such as this one, are very hard to construct, as can easily be seen right here. However, even more difficult would be to construct a non-entrance exam. It is important that great institutions of learning do not become overcrowded, with all sorts of us dolts clamoring for entry at the gate.
Of particular delight was to see that photo of the downtown campus building, the one designed for energy saving through elimination of the need for mechanical air conditioning.
Gus :-)))
LOL drbj! After taking your entrance exam, I think I need to go back to college! I didn't do too well and had to cheat which is not my style,...but at FokkU I think it's allowed so give me an A-.
drbj, I've already been to college and now I can't seem to even pass the entrance test. Oh well, you can't win them all. Those owners looked a little rough for my taste anyway.
Dear Ruby - Do not worry your pretty little head about the exam. It is a mere formality. We have an alternative essay test that simply requires you to write 50 words about why you love either George Clooney, Hugh Jackman or Jackie Chan.
Aren't those buffalo the greatest? We may change our mascots to buffalo in the future. They are so much more inspiring than dung beetles.
Thank you for remembering us and the "enjoying immensely" comment.
Dear Gus - what an interesting point you profess regarding non-entrance exams. We shall ponder than non-qualification in our next board meeting.
Speaking of boards, we had been using them to board up those many broken windows in our main campus building but nearby denizens have been appropriating them to provide heat for their miserable little sub-standard dwellings. That's why we are considering erecting those beautiful modern buildings.
Speaking of erection - of buildings - you made a very good point about energy savings by eliminating air conditioning costs.
Would you be interested in the post of VP, Facilities and Construction. The stipend is average but you would also be entitled to all the boards you might need to heat your dormitory room. Let us know. Fokk U.
Dear Hillary - Fret not about a simple grade. We would be delighted to welcome you back as a grad student. And since you admit that cheating is definitely not your style, would you be interested in the position of procter? proctor? You know, the person who watches students take tests and raps them on the knuckles with a ruler if they try to cheat? Like your old elementary school teacher.
The compensation is nothing to write home about but we will provide all the rulers you might need.
My dear Pamela - not to worry. As I mentioned earlier, we would be delighted to have you, too, as a member of our graduate school.
Not to worry about Willa and Watt either. They have already passed. Passed away, that is. But their spirit of dedication and loyalty still lingers. If it gets too strong, we'll conquer it with Glade.
Oh my Drbj its a good thing that I already have my diploma from FU because I would have never passed that exam because I did horrible on the test. I see they are raising their standards now....I guess thats a good thing. Very funny, cheers to you.
I cannot leave even for a short holiday and everything at FU becomes chaos! It's lucky I have been elected to Congress and I feel happy, otherwise there would be hell to pay. (And if any prospective applicants get this, they are automatically accepted)
Fokk U for ever!!!... :-)))
How perspicacious of you, ladyjane, to recognize that we have elevated our standards here at Fokk U. You are fondly remembered by other distinctive members of your graduating class, Abie Lincoln and Benjy Franklin, who send you their best.
Just kidding! Sincerely, Fokk U.
Told you so, Dimi, when you decided to run from, I mean for election. You are indispensible, no, indispenseble, er, absolutely needed at all times here at Fokk U.
We do appreciate your spirit, however, and plan to erect a monument to you at the entrance of our institution. So we have declared you as the Chairperson of the Raising Funds for Extolling Dimi Monument. We knew you would be delighted with this honor.
Wow – for the ‘gray elephant’. Amazing! And that video! WOW! I always knew animals have brains. Those lions were thoroughly cowed :)))) Really amazing! I’m once again in awe of nature.
Of course the standard of the entrance exam is perfectly Fokk U. However, I don’t have to pass the exam, Sir. Remember, I am one of the lecturers. So when does the conservatorium open for the new semester, and how many sexophone students can I expect for the coming year?
Hi, Martie. That gray elephant test is amazing, isn't it. Kudos to you for being the first to mention it. It's one of my favorite ice breakers.
And the video to me is beyond belief. Shatters all the "lion king" illusions.
Yes, you are one of the most popular lecturers and the new semester opens soon. I expect your class will be filled to capacity (140 students) as always.
Respectufully, Fokk U.
Highly entertaining - loved the little twists that Fokk U up if not careful!
The third daughter was Nunu -- any dunce knows that. Now can I get in? I'm tired of this whole Fokking thing, you know. Columbia wants me ...
I didn't do too well with only 7 correct. But then I saw that this qualifies me to teach! Now I feel mighty good about myself. Thank you!
drbj – I’ve got to point this out – in the video we hear people talking in the background. In English as well as – I think once or twice – in my mother tongue, Afrikaans. And that video was shot in South Africa’s most famous game resort, the Kruger National Park. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to brag.
Yours truly, Fokk U
drbj,
I really enjoy the ranks for scoring. I am almost a teacher! (I'm surprised to say that I'm a step up, which is a kindergarten student....) I suppose children DO know everything.
Another entertaining hub! Keep it up, and go fokk u!
It was a very interesting read for me, not being an American and not having a lot of knowledge of the educational system.
What a great entrance exam! As usual I got a blank box instead of the video. I tried googling it but had no luck.
On a personal note, I am amazed I found all the f's but missed Mary. Duh!
Yes, psychicdog, like life itself, there are many little twists along the way for happy Fokkers like ourselves.
Delighted you were highly entertained and thank you for the visit and the comments.
Dear Lynda - Don't you dare say yes to Columbia. You would not be happy in that stodgy ivory tower environment. You need the enthusiastic joie de vivre of Fokk U.
Be patient. Our Faculty Contracts Administrator had to take a leave of absence because of a slight parole violation but I've been assured that your contract is in the mail. We are looking forward with the greatest anticipation to your becoming a genuine Fokker.
Achieving the level of Teacher is not too shabby, James, and the appellation fits you so well since you are constantly teaching the rest of us Hubbers with your well researched historical hubs.
Delighted you feel good about your score - we like having positive Fokkers around.
Yes, Martie, that extraordinary video was taken at Kruger National Park in South Africa so you have earned bragging rights
Good to hear from you. Best regards, Fokk U.
Hi, hello. I must tell you that if you learned to read elsewhere and not in the U.S. educational (?) system, you are probably already way ahead of the game in learning comprehension.
Our country seems to possess many readers but few "understanders."
Thanks for dropping by.
So sorry, mysterylady, that the video would not work for you. Sometimes if you just click on the black space to the right of the arrow, a video will miraculously start. Try Googling "You Tube Battle at Kruger". That might work for you.
So you found all the f's - extraordinary. Give yourself an A+.
Dear AC - forgive my skipping around - that often happens when I try to answer a number of comments at once.
Congrats on attaining the kindergarten student level - the exam IS a little tricky, I will admit.
Thanks for stopping by and being "entertained." It is entirely my pleasure.
How did I end up with a negative number for a score????
Funnnny! Don't fret about a negative score, Chris. It may not enable you to attend Fokk U as a student but it does qualify you to be a Fokker professor. :)
Thanks, drbj! I loved the video!
You are most welcome, mysterylady. That video is very special. Delighted you enjoyed it.
Will I be automatically notified by Congress? Do I actually have to attend sessions, or can I just have my checks deposited into my Adsense account? Are all vacations paid for?
Thanks for the laugh. I hope the water buffalo baby made it. It seems that after having been bitten by so many, in the water and out, it would be hard. One should never give up hope!
Having been in the middle of reading the comments, after read (and thoroughly enjoying it I might add) your Hub, I received a phone call that I truly didn't want, is there any way that I can be the CEO of Fokk U for the Day? I surely would love to be able to give the 1 fingered salute while waving my arm (and because I am old and a female who used to have muscle tone) that 'double wave' (you know the extra flap of skin from those who have lost weight) all the while yelling to the top of my lungs "FOKK U" to any within hearing range? Just for the day is all I ask!
That video reminds me of the down trodden who have finally stood up for themselves!! Maybe we could get a few of those buffalo here in the US to come to our next election? You know, just to keep those in line who want to devour us?
Well at least I made it to The teacher level, when do I start? I think the first thing on my agenda of studies will be to instruct the proper etiquette of the 1 finger salute, after that we'll just 'wing' it...
As usual you have made my day!
Dear nettraveller:
Yes, No/Yes, Depends (not the product).
Thank you for visiting and commenting. You may be eligible to be a Fokker - do not give up hope.
Yes, the baby buffalo is alive and well, and thriving. Even passed the entrance exam!
Dear Susie the Sweet - And you have made mine with your lovable comments.
Of course, you can be CEO AND President for one day if you choose. Which day in which year is most suitable for you?
You can even give the finger wave which will have added flare when flung with flab.
I may have mentioned in an earlier comment that we are seriously considering replacing our current mascot, the dung beetle, with the noble buffalo.
We are delighted you attained the teacher level and look forward to welcoming you to the professorial pool next semester. Respectfully, Fokk U.
I must confess that my ADD kicked in which caused my mind to start wondering off, not permitting me to finish the test. Seeing as how I wouldn't be able to afford the tuition anyway and heaven knows, I would love to be a Fokker, do you think I would qualify for any of your scholarship programs due to my disability? If not, then Fokk U forever anyway!
Drbj - Fokk U rules!
I am looking forward to teaching there as we talked about in your last hub on Fokk U. It is too bad that Monica went onto bigger things.... but I have to ask you "how did YOU know it was bigger things she went onto?"
Dere Leesa,
We wud be happie to have you join Fokk U. Do knot wurry about yur disabilitee. I hav bin workin at Fokk U as a temp in the offise for munths now even tho I hav a spellink disabilitee. But none of the profesors hav noticed it. Sinseerlee, Fokk U
Welcome, Neil. We at Fokk U share your anticipation. Yes, Monica did go on to "bigger things," but we are sworn to secrecy. But we didn't promise not to reveal a clue. Aloha!!!
LOL - great clue. We sure are clever!
I failed. 7 years of public college, wasted.
Don't fret, nicomp. With that credential, Fokk U would be delighted to have you aboard as a full professor.
I already have tenure at The University of Feenix:
Ah, but we can offer you elevenure (credit Victor Borge) from my hub of the same name.
I'm an idiot drbj!
Not to worry, Micky. That's a full step above imbecile. There's hope for you. Fill out an application and we will keep quiet about your designation.
I enjoyed this. Good Job drbj. I seen this video a while back...amazing wonders of nature!
I enjoyed the test...lol...
Voting up!!!
Thanks, libby, delighted you enjoyed this test and the video. It is amazing, isn't it. Can our perception of the lion be all wrong?
Thanks for the visit and the up rating. You are appreciated.
I think all animals are amazing. The buffalo should be right up there with the lion! They sure defended their calf, didn't they?
libby - I, too, share your love of animals and they are amazing. Especially mothers of calfs and cubs, etc., when they are defending their young.
I missed this one and still can’t believe it happened to me; I am sure you know how addicted I am to Fokk U. I was amazed by the strategy of the buffalos, but compared to the Fokk U strategy of passing the entrance exam, chasing lions is a piece of cake.
Happy to report I did much better than congress (nothing to be proud about since any half brain can do that much); I even past a university professor level, but obviously not a Fokk U professor, so again not much to write home about it. I would not tell you how far I got, but my granddaughter did better than me… that should tell you how hard it was to pass all the entry exams I had to take back in Romania. Nonetheless, on that merit alone the honorable Fokk U should make an exception and accept me before I start wondering once again What the Fokk are all those tests for.
Welcome back to Fokk U, Petra. Delighted we did not start our Fall semester which begins in the Winter at Fokk, without you.
Those amazing buffalo in the video were trained, as you may have surmised by now, by our very own estimable animal trainer, AKirchner, the only Fokk graduate with a will stronger than a buffalo.
It is not surprising that younger students often surpass the rest of us. They haven't learned to be logical yet which often gets in the way. Still you achieved a decent score - any score at Fokk is decent - so we accept you.
You asked the purpose of the tests? Simple, the silly Accreditation Committee requires them.
Sincerely, Fokk U.
Jane Bovary Level 1 Commenter 19 months ago
What a font of superior knowledge and quality Fokk-U has become, as reflected in the dignified expressions of those top-notch alumni.
Drbj, I get so emotional when I look at my old university campus in that photograph...'specially looking at that fifth floor broken window where my Mental Health Professor threw himself out the window. Oh, happy memories. The proposed new buildings look nice though...so friendly and intimate.
Thank goodness I don't have to sit those new entrance exams..I don't think I'd get in if I had to apply today. The old one question test..'do you want to attend this university?' was so much easier.
I'm pretty sure those buffalo in the video giving the lions the old Fokk-U, are ex-students.