Funny Pun about Stanley the Snail
Stanley the Snail
There once was a snail
His name was Stanley.
He was young and daring
So virile, so manly.
He was also womanly
I kid you not, my dear.
Snails are hermaphrodites
You read that here.
Have you ever wondered
Where are the eyes on a snail?
They are not on its head.
They are not on its tail.
Snails have four tentacles
On its head they are found.
The longer two each have an eye
So the snail can see the ground.
Stanley lived a pleasant life
No worries, no kids, no wife.
He didn’t work,
He didn’t toil,
He lived on a trust
From his uncle who struck oil.
I mentioned he was daring
He would bungee jump
Without a quiver.
But one day
The knot came loose
And he fell into the river.
It took a month or more
For Stan to reach the shore.
Since it took him forever
To travel very far.
What Stanley wanted
Was a very fast sports car.
Stanley was a bit
Of a dreamer.
He would have liked
A Stanley Steamer.
He searched on Craigslist
To no avail.
Those cars were antiques,
None were on sale.
He looked at an Audi,
It was too gaudy.
He test drove a Ferarri,
It was really a honey.
But the cost was obscene,
Far too much money.
Then he found
A sharp Mazda Miata
Close to the ground.
With options? A lotta.
A snail only has one foot
Which looks
Like a flat belly.
Changes were made to the car
To eliminate
Stan’s slimy jelly.
He ordered the car
It would be his ride,
And told the salesman
I want a large S on each side.
No problem said the dealer
Though that’s not the norm.
You will have to fill out
A special order form.
So Stanley ordered
And paid for the car
With a large S on each side
That you could read from afar.
The dealer asked,
“I would like to know.
Why do you want the S?
So large it will show?”
Said Stan, the man,
With his face all aglow,
“I want people to say,
‘Look at that S-car go!’”
I have always believed that a pun is the lowest form of humor . . . unless you think of it yourself!
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011, 2014. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
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