National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Twenty

I promised at the beginning of this month which is National Humor Month – really, it is – to publish a funny short joke every day if possible. I wrote twenty and will conclude the series with this one. Temporarily!

Hope you have enjoyed the ride as I have, remembering and rewriting these jokes – even producing some in poetic format.

Funny Riddle: There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten different words without rearranging any of its letters. What is the word? See the answer at the end of the joke.

Billy Bob Buffett is a successful, wealthy American businessman who flies to Japan to meet with investors. When he lands in Tokyo, he pays a visit to the American Embassy. The Ambassador warns him that terrorist threats have been escalating, and it would be wise to hire a personal bodyguard.

“Where can I find the best security service?” he asks. That would be Bates Bodyguards he is told, and he is given directions to its location nearby. Billy Bob takes a taxi to that address and is greeted by a slender elderly gentleman dressed in traditional robes, with long white hair and a long white, wispy beard.

“’Ogenki desuka’ – how are you?” he says, “I am Master Bates, the founder of Bates Bodyguards. The Ambassador phoned me and I can show you three superior bodyguards. You choose one you like most.”

He then claps his hands twice and calls out, “’Ichi’ – Number One.” A six-foot Samurai swordsman strides in and is introduced as Bruce Li. The old man opens a large glass jar and frees a small, common housefly. Immediately, the swordsman slashes through the air with his weapon as fast as lightning, and neatly slices the fly in half.

“Wow, that is very impressive,” says Billy Bob, “I can’t go wrong with Bruce Li.”

“’Iie’ – No, wait a moment, please,” replies the Master. “Now I show you ‘ni’ – Number Two.”

Number Two enters. He is as big as a Sumo wrestler and is introduced as Jackie Chin. The old man releases a second fly. In an instant, with two very precise moves, the fly is cut into four tiny pieces.

“That is unbelievable,” says Billy Bob, “I’ll take Jackie Chin.”

“’Iie’ – No, you should not choose until you see ‘san’ – Number Three.”

Number Three walks in and looks nothing like his two imposing, muscular compatriots. He is rather scrawny and height-challenged and looks like he could use a good meal. His name is Kerry Oki. Billy Bob is disappointed.

Now the old man releases a third fly, and whoosh goes Kerry Oki’s sword. But, wait, what is this? The tiny fly is still moving!

“So what is so special about Number Three?” says Billy Bob. “The fly is still alive.”

“Oh, ‘hai’ – Yes,” replies the inscrutable Master Bates. “Fly is still alive. But he never ever make love again!”

Funny Quote

“A lot of people ask me when I do a stunt, 'Jackie, are you scared?' Of course I'm scared. I'm not Superman.” – Jackie Chan

Answer to Riddle

The word is “therein.” The ten words are the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, herein and therein.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"