Interview with Banana Spider
90How do you feel about spiders?
You know - those bug-bodied, spindly-legged arachnids with eight hairy legs? My Hubbuddy, Sweetsusieg, challenged me to write about an interview with the Banana Spider. Imagine! She wants me to interview and write about an insect – a bug – a SPIDER! Ugh. These are her actual words: "I think I would be very interested in hearing what fellow Hubber, drbj would have to say were she to “interview” one of these lovely Banana Spiders! (hint-hint)."
Those who know me are aware that it is difficult, nay, impossible for me to resist a challenge. That’s how I fractured nine ribs in 2005. But that’s a whole ‘nother story. And if you recall Stan Fletcher’s weird Hubpages contests challenging fellow writers to write about weird subjects, then you may remember how I rose to the challenge, not once but twice, with my hubs: “Psychic Vegetables and the Things They Have Told Me” and “Why Everyone Should Own a Goat or Cow or Pig.”
So, keeping in mind my relentless reluctance to resist challenges, here is my Interview with Banana Spider.
Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver" 1976
Crème d’brulee Recipe
Ingredients for 4 servings
4 egg yolks
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 cups cream
1 pinch salt
1/2 cup fresh raspberries or sliced strawberries
Directions: Preheat oven to 350° F degrees. In a mixing bowl, beat egg yolks until slightly thickened. Gradually stir in sugar and salt. Heat the cream in a saucepan over medium heat. Remove from heat before cream comes to a boil. Slowly stir into egg mixture. Add vanilla. Divide the mixture into 4 ramekins and place them in a baking pan. Fill the pan with water about half way up the ramekins to make a water bath. Bake for 45-60 minutes until firm. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Sprinkle the top with sugar and carmelize with a kitchen torch. Garnish with raspberries or strawberries.
Tip: Brown sugar may be substituted for the granulated sugar, but you may want to increase the amount to 1 tablespoon per serving.
Source: http://Recipetips.com
me – Excuse me, miss. Are you a genuine Banana Spider?
Banana Spider – Are YOU talking to me???
Are you talking to ME??? (Performing a spidery Robert De Niro impression)
me – Yes, Miss Spider. I wondered if I could interview you for a Hubpages article I am writing.
Banana Spider – Call me Goldie. And It’s not Miss, you know. It’s Mrs. Even though my husband is no longer with me.
me – Oh, sorry, to hear that.
Goldie – Don’t be. Yummy! He was so delicious.
me – You ate him? (Incredulous)
Goldie – Well, that’s what we female spiders often do, you know.
I can talk with you for only about thirty minutes and then I have to run. I promised to meet Miss Muffett for lunch.
me – The Miss Muffett? of Mother Goose fame?
Goldie – None other. You know the rhyme: “Little Miss Muffet, Sat on her tuffet, eating her crème d’brulee.
Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.”
me – I thought the rhyme was: “eating her curds and whey.”
Goldie – If you ever tasted curds and whey, you, too, would prefer crème d’brulee.
Arachnid Addendum: Curds and whey refer to the lumps and liquid found in cottage cheese.
Crème d’brulee is a delicious rich custard dessert topped with hard caramel.
Goldie – Now - what would you like to know?
me – Let’s start with your family.
Goldie – My family name is Nephila and we are a genus of araneomorph spiders.
Some folks call us Banana Spiders because our yellow bodies resemble tiny bananas, but we are also known as Golden Silk Orb-Weavers - that’s how I got my name, Goldie.
In some parts of the country we are called Giant Wood Spiders.
Arachnid Addendum: Over 700 species of spiders reside in Florida.
Golden Silk Orb-Weaver / Banana Spider
me – What is the origin of that name, Nephila?
Goldie – It’s derived from ancient Greek and means “fond of spinning.” We are noted for the impressive webs we weave. In North America we are also known as Writing Spiders because of the zigzag patterns we weave into our webs. So we have something in common.
me – You must be referring to your writing/weaving skill. Because humans do not devour their mates. Nasty divorces do not count.
So, why do female spiders indulge in this cannibalistic practice?
Goldie – Male spiders are relatively tiny so larger females like myself have no difficulty eating our puny mates when dinner doesn’t arrive.
I like to think of the practice being called – instead of “The Man Who Came to Dinner” – “The Man Who Became the Dinner.” (Giggles)
Arachnid Addendum: Speaking of web weaving, who was the author of this passage: “O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive!”
Did you answer William Shakespeare? Give yourself a gold star if you gave the correct answer – Sir Walter Scott.
me – How did you get the name, Golden Silk Orb-Weaver? You are very conspicuous with your colors of yellow, red, brown, black and white on your body, but not gold.
Goldie – The gold refers to the color of the yellow silk we spin. It shines like gold in the sunshine.
me – How big do you get when grown?
Goldie – We females reach sizes of 1 ½ to 3 inches not including our long, long legs which may be up to 5 inches. Males are usually less than ½ inch.
Arachnid Addendum: The largest specimen ever found was about 3 inches (from Queensland) and was able to catch and feed on a small finch.
me – Are you found only in the United States, Central and South America?
Goldie – No, we live in countries all over the world including the warmer regions of Australia, Asia and Africa. I’m a country girl myself – I grew up in the Okefenokee Swamp in Florida.
Arachnid Addendum: Nephila spiders are the oldest surviving genus of spiders. A fossilized specimen was found estimated to be 165 million years old.
me – Are you poisonous?
Goldie – Our venom is potent but not lethal to humans. It has a neurotoxic effect similar to that of the black widow spider. But our venom is not nearly as powerful. Our bite causes local pain, redness, and blisters – I call it a spider hickey – that normally disappear within 24 hours.
me – What is your favorite food?
Goldie – We eat flies, bees, wasps, moths, butterflies and barbecued ribs. Just kidding about the ribs. But unlike humans, we do not chew our food. We inject venom which ultimately turns the insides of the prey caught in our web into liquid. Then we just suck it up. No chewing each bite of food 23 times for us.
Spider Silk Stronger than Saran Wrap
me – Your webs are marvels of engineering.
Goldie – The circular orb portion of our web can be more than three feet across with support strands extending many more feet. We prefer building our webs at the edges of forests, in gardens, on fences or even building overhangs.
When the weather is rainy and windy, sometimes we dismantle the lower part of the web to allow the wind to flow through the opening without breaking the web. We are experts at building websites. (Laughs)
Arachnid Addendum: Small black and silver spiders called Argyrodes are kleptoparasites that may infest our webs to feed from our captured prey. They are uninvited guests that frequently force us to rebuild or abandon our webs.
me – I have always wondered. How do you keep from sticking to the web as you weave it?
Goldie – We manufacture the silk for our webs in our own bodies. To form a web, we jump from one branch to another.
Some of the strands are sticky and moist in order to catch our food. But other strands are dry so we can travel on them without sticking.
Then we sit in the center of the web looking like a miniature Yoda with one leg touching a strand.
If we feel the strand jiggle, much like a fisherman with his line, we know we have caught a bug.
If the insect is very heavy and could break our web, then we cut it loose.
But we waste nothing. We eat and digest the broken silk strands to use in rebuilding.
"The Wanderer" Dion 1961
Brazilian Wandering Spider / Banana Spider
Spider Stuff
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- Lesson's learned from the littlest things in life
This is sweetsusie's hub - she started the whole thing with her hints that I should write about the Banana Spider. Who knew? - Interview with Penguin
Interview with Percy the Penguin who wanted to set the record straight about penguins and whether they could fly or not. - Interview with Hippopotamus
Wait until you see the video of Jessica, the charming, endearing, charismatic household hippopotamus. - Interview with Proboscis Monkey
Plato, the Proboscis Monkey, was offended because I interviewed the Hippopotamus and not him. So I gave him an interview and he shared some stunning personal information.
me – Who are your enemies?
Goldie – Our biggest threats are frogs, toads, lizards, birds, centipedes and bigger spiders – they are all predators. Humans are enemies, too, as well as storms, cold weather and fungus.
Arachnid Addendum: A unique cloth woven from the golden silk of over 1 million Golden Silk Orb-Weaver spiders is on exhibit in the American Museum of Natural History, New York City.
Japanese fishermen on the Pacific Ocean coast often remove Nephila webs and form them into balls, which are thrown into the water. There they unfold and are used as nets to catch bait fish.
Goldie – Would you like to interview a genuine Banana Spider?
me – I thought I was interviewing a genuine Banana Spider, Goldie. Isn’t that what you are?
Goldie – That’s what many people call us although our preferred name is Golden Silk Orb-Weaver. Let me introduce you to the real thing – the Brazilian Banana Spider from Latin America. Wanda, come over here, please.
Wanda – como e que; bom te conhecer. How are you? Nice to meet you.
Goldie – drbj wants to interview a genuine Banana Spider. Do you have a few minutes to spare? Your photo and comments will appear on the Internet. If it goes viral, you could be famous.
Wanda – Well, I got places to go and people to bite but I can spare a few.
me – Obrigada. Pleased to meet you. I’ve been talking to Goldie and she tells me that in North America her genus is called a Banana Spider but is really a Golden Silk Orb-Weaver. Are you a genuine Banana Spider?
Wanda – Some people call us that because we often stow away to North America and parts unknown hidden in a stalk of bananas. But we are actually the Brazilian Wandering Spider. That’s how I got my name, Wanda. Our family name is Phoneutria.
me – What does Phoneutria mean?
Wanda – It’s Greek for “murderess.” We don’t have lily-white reputations. (Spoken with pride). The 2010 “Guinness World Records” names us as the world’s most venomous spider. We can grow to have a body more than 2 inches long with a leg span of up to 5 ½ inches
me – Why are you called the Wandering Spider?
Wanda – Because we wander the jungle floor at night instead of building a web. During the day we hide inside termite mounds, under logs and rocks and in banana stalks.
Wanderers is an appropriate name because we often wander without fear into populated areas and search for dark places to hide – like Vlad Dracula – during daylight. Our favorite spots are inside houses, outhouses, garages, cars, log piles, boxes, shoes, and clothing.
Although we do not have films and television like the educational program,"Real Housewives of New Jersey," we do not lack for entertainment. You should see the way people jump and scream and carry on when they find us unexpectedly.
Arachnid Addendum: In Brazil the wandering Spider is called “aranhas-armadeiras” or armed spiders.
Although the Brazilian Wandering Spider / Banana Spider is the most toxic, more deaths occur from the bites of the black widow and brown recluse spider.
me – Do you reside in the U.S.?
Wanda – We make our home in most of the warmer climate countries of Central and South America. But we do get to take the tourist trip when we stow away on banana stalks.
The Erection Effect
Goldie – Tell drbj what makes you so unique – you know – the “erection effect.”
me – Oh, come on, you’re pulling my leg.
Wanda – No, it’s another bodily appendage that is involved. (Goldie and Wanda grab each other and laugh hysterically)
me - What on earth is the “erection effect?”
Wanda – Our venom can cause priapism in humans of the male persuasion.
me – You’re kidding me, right? Priapism is prolonged erection of the penis.
Wanda – I kid you not. The good news is that our bite can cause erections that are uncomfortable but can last for many hours. The bad news is that this sometimes results in impotence.
Arachnid Addendum:As you might expect, a component of this spider venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.
Summary
me – Thank you, Goldie. Obrigada, Wanda, for your erudite explanations. Now I know there are two types of Banana Spiders: the Golden Silk Orb-Weaver also known as the Giant Wood Spider or Writing Spider who favors Florida living.
And the Brazilian Wandering Spider who lives in Latin America and unleashes a very powerful venom which produces a verrrrry interesting effect. Ciao, my arachnid allies. Go forth and spin . . . or wander.
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
Sources:
Amos, Jonathan. “Fossilized spider biggest on record.” BBC News, April 2011
Bucheri, Wolfgang and Eleanor Buckley. Venomous Animals and their Venoms, vol. III.
Cameron H.D. “An etymological dictionary of North American spider genus names.” In: Ubick, D., Paquin, P., Cushing, P.E., Roth, V. (Eds.), Spiders of North America: an identification manual. The American Arachnological Society, 2005
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Shiver.... shake... I hate spiders. Although you have made this article delightfully entertaining, I sure hope I don't run into any of these (well, as long as I am not aware anyway.)I am terrified of spiders!!!
Great hub and cool pics! I love how you gave one an actual banana butt! Too funny! Way to spin a story!
Wow! You really know how to make a funny story from a boring topic. I love your interviews. It makes me laugh. Great hub. Thanks for sharing.
I have always been fascinated with spiders. They get a bum rap. They are friendly and just want to be loved. I let them crawl on my hands all the time.
The Banana Spider interview is terrific! I will have to skip the venom for priapism. Yep. Can do without that.
Voted up, up and away!
I am terrified of Spiders, mostly larger ones...
The Brazilian Wandering spider is especially scary, I'd say. I saw an unbelievable picture of one of our soldiers, about a year ago, with some huge version of middle-eastern spider variety that was photographed covering the majority of his leg!!! Poisonous or not, I don't think I could have stood still for that photo! Another extremely interesting subject from the animal kingdom, drbj. Thanks for the thrills and chills!
It was really interesting...a bit eerie, to see those pics of gigantic spiders. Great hub!
these look very similar to our St John of the Cross spiders. I'm not sure if ours invite their man for dinner though!
I've never liked crawly critters, especially spiders. Snakes don't bother me at all, and I'm at home with all animals...except certain insects, like roaches, and spiders.
At last I know what I want to be in my next life - A Banana Spider.
As always, drbj, I appreciated and enjoyed a hub written by you very-very much. You entertain while you teach, or do you teach while you entertain? Whatever, you are my favourite lecturer.
I’ve done a lot of research on Araneae for a play, performed by a group of high school students in 2002, (and a novel for teenagers still to be completed… one day). They are amazing creatures – the fastest to move from a dead-still position to full-speed, etc.
Unfortunately I’m not a lover of spiders. They give me the jitters. I hope I’ll never see one on my body, for that will surely be the last thing I will ever see in my life. (Sadly, everybody will think I’d die of a heart-attack.)
Oh, and to think they are all bungee-jumpers. I once lived in a thatch-roof house, and I wonder how many spiders came down to nibble on my lips while I was sleeping?
Encore!
Thanks for another interesting and entertaining hub, drbj! I like spiders and enjoy learning about them. They're very interesting creatures.
It is a kind of different approach when you have a chance to interview the various type of spiders.You remind me of an amazing 2 Spiders charater which is called spiderman and venom.These are my son favourite cartoon character.The way you put those are very exciting and like I said earlier it is really a different kind of approach to insect.You just shows me the way back to your hub drbj.thank you!
Ok I had chills and the hair was standing up on my arms but you are brilliant! I love the jokes you always add in and pretty interesting facts. I also like the photos - I'm gonna be on the look out for those guys (or girls;)!
I've got places to go and people's to bite! Lol
I am completely amazed that you are able to interview all of these Critters and dead people too. I must say that if i ever saw a banana spider, i would swear off bananas for the remainder of my life. I am terrified of anything that crawls and especially if it lives in a web, But i must say that i learned something new. Thank you. I loved the cartoon with the two drunk spiders, their web destroyed and the one spider saying, " You've been drinking again " HAHA, And by the way, anytime you put a De Niro video on, you're a winner.
Cheers
Spiders, bananas and erection effect, I would say 'no pun intended but God! :P
Loved it. :D
I think that you need your own TV channel drbj! Fascinating interview with the banana spider - you really do get to meet some fascinating folk!
I have always liked spiders, and would never kill one. I'm glad you saw fit to give a voice to these much maligned of God's creatures. What will you come up with next?
This is so exciting!!! I LOVE IT!! Sharing it with my friends too.. LOL drbj you ARE the greatest!!
I love the information that you have included.. I did get the heebie geebies when I watched the video of the spider crawling on the soldier... My hubby does happen to have a pet called Rosie... she is a Chilean Rose haired spider... ewww.... I will water her and throw crickets in her cage, but that's about as far as I go.. When he gets her out to play with her, I run to another room...
I agree with CMHypno - What a great learning tool!! If you had you own TV show they'd play it in classrooms to all the kids!!!
I truly enjoyed this!!! I learned more!! YAY go me!
You were challenged, you stepped up to the plate and hit a home run!! Go you!!
Thanks so much!!
(PS) you could have possibly not known BUT Dion was raised in a house just down the road from where I lived!!! He was born and raised in BC Michigan... just a few minutes drive from where I live now!! Cool eh? You remember the song 'Hat's off to Larry'? I used to serve Larry drinks in the bar I worked at....
If I could hit the awesome button twice and make it count - I certainly would. The Travis Bickle clip alone was worth several.
Very well written...I remember seeing a variety of Banana Spiders in the jungles of Malaysia, and even in Bangladesh rural areas when I lived there, I wonder if these are also common locations for their presence?
I actually had one of those spiders on my parent's back porch during a year when we had a deluge of grasshoppers - and so when a grasshopper particularly irked the wrath of todd. . . . .I fed him to the spider.
The spider got SO BIG after a while that I was starting to have visions of LOTR spiders on the back porch. After a while, the Dad of the parental pair couldn't endure it any longer. . . .and I forever rue the day that my mythical eight legged beast met his end.
I'm not a big fan of spiders as I have several who think they can live with me rent free. And they're nothing like Goldie. She's absolutely glorious! Thanks for a fun read...love your humor doc.Cheers!
You have done a great job again though I am phobia with spider. But I really enjoy this hub and beautiful interview. Only you can do this. Vote up and useful.
Prasetio
An absolute delight drbj! You are a most talented and clever writer despite your PhD..lame joke no.1 Uh, what you know, banana spider venom's just like some women, the full monty and then no phone number next morning..lame joke no.2 Well drbj, you have an advanced sense of humor and hopefully you'll forgive my pathetic joker self. Seriously though, an enjoyable and masterpiece of a creative Hub. And that's not mysterious at all.
Drbj – Your guess regarding my wish is a hit in the bull’s eye. Njam-njam to an uncomplicated life on earth. Or perhaps I should not forget astute hen-peck-hen-practices and reconsider... mmmm.... Thinking about a particular critter, and unable to think about anything else but spiders now, the tarantula comes to mind. I mean, brbrr: some people actually keep them as pets.... bRbRrRr :{
An absolute great interview. I don't you do such a wonderful hub. I thorughly enjoyed learning all about these various information. Thank you for doing such a great research.
I loved this hub, great concept and very well written. One of the most creative ones I have ever read, that too about spiders!! Amazing work!
.....well I suppose you know dear friend, hubber and colleague that I tell everyone (that is EVERYONE) about your legendary interview series - and my heart is beating faster and the mind is just racing thinking about it - as always a world class effort and production by a world class writer, hubber and creator.
Hubwow!!!!!!! And your poetic comments to me are still among the best.....
lake erie time 10:21am ontario canada
I had never seen one of these spiders until I visited central america. You're interview leaves me pondering what they were thinking when I was staring at them... Great Hub. Voted up and beautiful
This is absolutely brilliant. I loved it. To be able to teach such a boring subject with so much humour.
I loved every word, image and video. Awesome.
You simply just fascinate me how you can take any subject and turn it into an exciting, informative and often funny interview. You are simply the best, I'd love you to replace Pierce Morgan, he's such and arrogant SOB and his sense of humor is sickening. You would do a much better job and get some REAL laughs:-) Great interview by the way. I hate spiders and snakes, but if I had to handle either of them, it would certainly be a spider. Rated way UPPPPP
FASCINATING! I loved this. I have long loved our 8-legged friends (partly because of the incredible complexity of web building, and partly because they eat flies and mosquitoes!) . I love how you framed this as an amusing, but incredibly edifying, interview. I learned a ton! And I can't believe a component in spider venom might be used as the next Viagra! ;-)
what an awesome job! bravo! voted up on everything...i am going to enjoy the rest of your articles, i really think i am! :o)
I didn't realise i wanted to find out about the banana spider, until you drew me into her web. It's an amasingly comprehensive hub with all the cartoons, photos and added bits and bobs. I had the wanderer belting around in the background too. We have tons of exotic spiders here in Oz and my older daughter is petrified of them. Oh well work calls. Cheers
What a wonderful morning read. You've incorporated two of my favorite things on earth into one enormously entertaining and educational Hub...spiders and crème d’brulee (can you tell, I don't get out much). Never in a hundred years would I have thought of doing that. Up and awesome!
haha...enjoyed the reading....u have made a sweet and entertaining hub..
My back yard is full of these rather beautiful golden spiders, though I've never talked to one. Now I know so much about them, maybe I'll strike up a conversation. Lynda
Had to scroll past the photos, but what I managed to read was interesting. May not go outside for a while...
I love this interview. It just might be the best of all these treasures. You are the most clever, the most witty writer in the entire HubPages Community. No doubt about it. There were a dozen moments when I either chuckled or chortled. A couple times I actually guffawed!
I was also amazed by new facts I learned. One was that a spider could feast on a finch! Who knew?
Not only is the banana banana spider rare, I never knew there was such a thing.
The Brazilian Wandering Spider looks friendly. The next time I see one I think I'll pet it and rub its belly.
drbj: Your hilarious, informative, thorough article proves that humor helps in learning and that learning can be fun. In fact, it is quite a creative achievement to individualize the personality and voice of each spider. Additionally, the subject matter has personal significance from my having spent free moments during the summer and fall watching the spinning, predatory and nest-building activities of a really huge golden orb hanging outside one of the porch windows. Your article also recalls the sights, sounds and wildlife of my time in Brazil: muit'obrigada!


















































Feline Prophet Level 5 Commenter 9 months ago
Only you could take boring research on spiders and weave an absolutely fascinating interview out of it, drbj! :)