Interview with Cinderella

Did you know Cinderella is alive and well and working at Disney World in Orlando, Florida? True! How do I know? I'm sitting on a bench waiting for the parade down Main Street to begin. Suddenly, a very determined, very beautiful young woman starts walking rapidly toward me. She is wearing the ball gown costume of Cinderella.

me – Good Morning, my dear. You make a lovely, authentic-looking Cinderella.

Cinderella – Well, I should hope so. I am Cinderella! Can't get much more authentic than that. (Haughtily)

me – I do apologize. Have we met?

Cinderella – Not in person but my BFF, Snow White, thinks the world of you and suggested I look you up. Snow told me you possessed the supernatural ability to interview deceased celebrities and weird animals as well as fairy tale heroines. Do you know my background?

me – Only what I have read in the fairy tales.

Cinderella – Fairy tales, shmairy tales. Do you want to know the real Cinderella story?

me – Whatever you care to share, Cinderella.

Cinderella – You can call me Cindy. It all began when my beloved mother died and my father, a wealthy aristocrat, was so lonely he went online to search for a good woman to marry.

He found "Bachelorette" and "The Dating Game" but they turned out to be merely television programs. You look surprised.

me – I'm still trying to handle the 'online' and the ‘television.’ You had the Internet and TV in your kingdom?

Cindy – Oh, yes, but it was only for the rich and for royalty. The common people could not afford it. They didn't have the crowns. Get it? Crowns? (Laughs)

So here is my lonely father moping around on his estate 24/7 and becoming lonelier and more miserable each day. Finally, his best buddy, Sir Dancelot, took pity on him and introduced him to a well known matchmaker, Barbra Streisand.

me – Wait a minute! Streisand is a famous American singer and movie star.

Cindy – Right! Remember what a. great matchmaker she was in the film, "Hello, Dolly”? She introduced my father to an elegant but selfish widow, Lady Tremaine. He fell in love and made her his wife. She really did a number on him.

me – What do you mean?

Cindy – She was a smart cookie. She had two daughters by her late husband, Drizella and Anastasia. They were both rather plain-looking and socially inept.

me – You say your two step-sisters were plain-looking. How unattractive were they?

Cindy – I'll give you a clue. Dizzyella, I mean Drizella, looked like the rear end of a horse – on a good day. And Anaconda, oops! Anastasia, had a face like a constipated platypus. I was as beautiful then as I am today – natural, sweet, and unaffected.

Of course, they were extremely jealous of humble, beautiful me. (Smiles shyly). While my father was alive my stepmother treated me like her own two daughters.

me – When did that change?

Cindy – My father was killed in a fall from his horse and my stepmother reverted to her mean, selfish self. She took away my beautiful clothes, gave me old smocks and aprons to wear, and wooden shoes. I became her own personal drudge. If there was a nasty job to be done, I was the one to do it.

I had to get up before daybreak, carry water, clean, cook, and wash the clothes, feed the animals, and tend the fireplaces. That's how I got my name, Cinderella, from being covered with cinders all day.

And I got no help at all from my stepsisters.

me – Why were they so mean to you?

Cindy – They were simply treating me as a gopher the way their mother did.

me – Gopher?

Cindy – You know, gopher this, gopher that, all day long. And there was no proper bedroom for me. I had a cubbyhole with a bed in the attic. Do you know what I had for dinner every night? Spamm!

me – I didn't know Spam was available then.

Cindy – No, not Spam. It was S.P.A.M.M. – Smashed Potatoes And Mole Meatloaf.

me – I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of eating mole.

Cindy – Trust me, it's no pleasure!

me – How dreadful your childhood must have been!

Cindy – It was the pits! But I was determined to survive and reclaim my father's estate one day. My fairy godmother helped keep me strong with her advice and the powerful lyrics to her song.

me – Was she an imaginary friend?

Cindy – Gloria Gaynor? Of course not, she was real. But I was the only one who could see her. I never told my step-family about her – only my best friend, Snow White.

me – How did you manage to change your life?

Cindy – Our king decided to give a Super Ball. He invited all the eligible young women in the kingdom to attend so his handsome son, Prince Charming, could find a suitable maiden to marry.

me – Were your step-sisters excited about this event?

Cindy – Excited isn't a strong enough word. They went ballistic and became genuine fashionista – ball gowns from Balenciaga, jewelry from Cartier, Manolo Blahnik shoes – the works! I asked my stepmother if I could also attend the ball.

Me – Did she agree?

Cindy – Yes, but she wouldn't get me a ball gown. So my two mice friends, Jaq and Gus, restored an old gown that had once belonged to my mother. They added scraps and pieces from old dresses my stepsisters had worn.

But my two evil, jealous stepsisters destroyed it and left for the ball without me. Even though they were wearing beautiful ball gowns, they were still ugly!

me – How ugly were they?

Cindy – They were so ugly that when they were small and played in the sandbox, their cat, Lucifer, tried to cover them up!

me – If I'm not mistaken, m'dear, that's a one-liner joke from Rodney Dangerfield, and he got it from Henny Youngman.

Cindy – That's right. And Henny got it from me!

Cindy – I was miserably unhappy when my step-family left. Then my Fairy Godmother appeared and transformed the rags I was wearing into an unbelievably beautiful ball gown complete with glass slippers.

Like David Copperfield, she created magic by changing a pumpkin into a coach and my pet mice became handsome coachmen.

me – What happened when you reached the ball?

Cindy – No one recognized me. Everyone thought I was some sort of rich foreign princess. Prince Charming fell in love with me at first sight as I with him, and we danced together all night. Until midnight, that is.

My Fairy Godmother had warned me to leave before twelve when everything would change back to the way it had been before.

me – And . . .

Cindy – That's exactly what happened. My ball gown disintegrated and I was wearing my shabby, plain rags again, holding a large pumpkin with my pet mice running after me. I escaped but lost one of my beautiful glass slippers.

me – I hope this tender love story doesn't end there.

Cindy – The King proclaimed that the Grand Duke would visit every household in the kingdom to find the maiden whose foot fit that slim glass slipper that my prince had found. Before he reached our place, my wicked stepmother locked me in the attic.

me – Why? Did she suspect that you were that beautiful foreign princess from the previous evening?

Cindy – Yes, she heard me humming a bit of music that had been played at the Ball the evening before. And she put three and three together.

me – You mean two and two.

Cindy – Whatever! When the Grand Duke arrived, my stepsisters fell all over themselves trying to fit their large, ugly calloused feet into that dainty glass slipper. My stepmother tried, too. I could hear the entire farce from my cubbyhole in the attic.

The Grand Duke inquired if there were another daughter on the premises and my stepmother lied through her teeth and said, No! What treachery! I yelled down through a chink in the attic floor, "I'm Cinderella and I would like to try on the glass slipper."

I escaped from the attic with the help of my mice buddies. My stepmother was so furious I thought she would have a stroke.

me – I know the slipper fit. Were you still dressed in rags?

Cindy – The moment I tried on the slipper which fit perfectly, I was transformed from those rags into that beautiful ball gown I had worn at the ball. Prince Charming was ecstatic that he had found me and we were married.

me – And lived happily ever after?

Cindy – That only happens in fairy tales. This is the real world and taxes on our homestead are now so high I had to take this job at Disney World. Have to go now and pose with all the little kiddies. Thanks for listening to my story.

me – Thank you, Cindy, it was entirely my pleasure.

Footnote: Walt Disney’s animated movie, “Cinderella” (1950), has been rated G for children. Fortunately for the little ones, he did not include the original ending of this charming tale written by the Brothers Grimm. In their version, the evil stepsisters were punished with blindness (eyes pecked out by pigeons).

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author,"Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Readers say ... 'learned how to write dynamic resume & cover letter, interview professionally, network & negotiate effectively.'