Interview with Zeus
80Interview with Zeus
Greek mythology has always fascinated me. How about you? I enjoy reading those fantastic stories about the gods on Mount Olympus and their internecine warfare as well as intergalactic love affairs. I saw the film, “The Immortals,” and was thinking about Zeus and his brother and sister gods when I fell asleep last night.
The ringing of my phone awakened me. Wait a minute. That was not the phone. It was the Skype on my computer. Now I am really awake. When your phone or Skype rings late, very late at night, do you expect to hear good news? Of course not. You brace yourself for the worst news possible. Once braced, I opened my Skype. Who was calling me?
This could not be real. The Skype read: "Zeus." The renowned and powerful immortal Greek god, Zeus? Wow, what an opportunity that would be for me to conduct one of my supernatural, and to quote Epigramman, ‘world-class’ interviews.
me – Who is this? It’s 2 am in the morning here.
Booming Voice – It’s me, Zeus.
me – Zeus Galliafanakopopoulous, the owner of my favorite Greek restaurant?
Voice – No, Zeus the Greek God.
me – (shouting) Oh my God! Oh my God!
Voice –You got that right!
me – I can’t believe it. Do you have Skype on Mount Olympus?
Zeus – I AM Lord of the Sky and the Heavens, you know. Also president and CEO of A T T & T – Amalgamated Telephones, Thunderbolts and Tablets.
Me – I thought Steve Jobs invented the iPad tablet.
Zeus – Who do you think implanted the idea?
me – (incredulous) What can I do for you, Omnipotent Zeus?
Zeus – I am also omniscient so I know you have the ability to conduct interviews with dead celebrities and weird animals. Therefore, talking with an immortal like me would be easy as spanakopita (Greek spinach pie) for you. I want to set the record straight on something that you wrote in a comment on Hubpages.
The Comment
me – What did I write? Which comment?
Zeus – You made a semi–erroneous statement about the birth of my daughter, Aphrodite, in a comment on the beautiful hub, “Don’t Let Me Love You,” by Martie Coetzer. You wrote and I quote – I am reading it directly from the hub:
“Your powerful poetry, Martie, ignited this explanation, Of Aphrodite's mythic birth as a result of castration . . . " etc., etc., etc.
". . . Cronus was the capo di capo of Gods before Zeus, With all the other Gods he played fast and loose.
Uranus, another God, irked him with some transgression, In retribution, sweet Cronus performed a castration.
He flung Uranus' severed genitals into the sea, Where amid froth and foam our heroine came to be.
No ifs ands or buts, She was born from the nuts. Wait - there is still more, A seashell bore her to shore . . . " etc. etc. etc.
The Backstory
me – Were those not the facts?
Zeus – Yes and no. Regarding the castration episode, it is true, Cronus did mutilate Uranus but I need to tell you the backstory which you must keep, you’ll pardon the expression, privates, er … I mean, private.
Me – My lips are sealed.
Zeus – Uranus, God of the Sky, was my grandfather who mated with Gaia, Goddess of the Earth.
They produced twelve Titans – Oceanus, Coeus, Crius, Hyperion, Iapetos, Mnemosyne, Phoebe, Rhea, Tethys, Theia, Themis, and Cronus.
Me – How do you remember all twelve Titans’ names so easily?
Zeus – You forget, I am a God. The Titans also had three very strange–looking brothers called the Hecatonchires. Each one had 50 heads and 100 arms. Trust me.
Uranus despised these three offspring and banished them to Tartarus which is located underneath Hell.
Their mother, Gaia, was furious and asked her other sons, the Titans, to punish Uranus. Only my father, Cronus, agreed. He used a scythe to do the deed and disposed of the evidence in the sea.
Aphrodite
me – Are you saying that Aphrodite did not arise from the subsequent foam created by the dissected, discarded genitalia?
Zeus – No, the myth of her arising from the sea foam was perpetuated by the artist, Sandro Botticelli, who created a magnificent work of art representing her oceanic birth.
me – I apologize, Zeus, for the error. Who are the parents of Aphrodite?
Zeus – You may be surprised to learn that the goddess, Dione, is her mother.
me – And her father . . .
Zeus – Who else? Me!
Birth of Zeus
me – Do you have time to corroborate one more myth? The story of your birth is remarkable. Did your mother, Rhea, fool your father with that stone trick?
Zeus – My father, Cronus, despite his power had very low self-esteem. He learned of a prophecy that declared he would lose his throne as the Capo di Capo of Gods to one of his children.
So he began the barbaric and somewhat difficult custom of swallowing each child whole shortly after birth. That is what happened to my older brothers, Hades and Poseidon, and my sisters, Demeter, Hera and Hestia.
me – How did you avoid that uncivilized ordeal?
Zeus – My mother, Rhea, hated my father for his despicable, sadistic behavior so when I was born she hid me in a cave in Crete. She gave Cronus a large stone wrapped in infant swaddling clothes which he promptly swallowed. His throat muscles were amazing. His brain cells … NOT!
When I grew up, my grandmother, Gaia, gave me an emetic to administer to Cronus and my siblings were retrieved, hale and hearty and none the worse for wear.
"The Immortals" film
"The Immortals"
me – Have you by any chance seen the new film, "The Immortals"?
Zeus – Yes, I ordered it from Netphlix. But it’s not available so I came to earth disguised as a mortal and viewed it at Radio City Muse Hall.
me – Do you mean Netflix and Radio City Music Hall?
Zeus – Whatever. I’m writing a nasty letter to the director about those ridiculous costumes that were created for the actors portraying me and my brother gods.
That golden armor and those mini skirts made us all look like a bunch of sissy boys.
And why didn’t he dress John Hurt, the actor who portrays me as a mortal, the Old Man, more elegantly? He looked like a raggedy bum down on his luck.
me – I agree, he did look rather shabby. Is there another actor you would have liked to have seen in that role?
Zeus – I would have chosen someone like George Clooney with a beard. And a much stronger, more powerful physique. Like me.
me - I can't help but wonder, how do you stay so young looking?
Zeus - I eat healthy, exercise regularly, and lie about my age.
Zeus – the Love Machine
me – According to many of the myths I have read, you had love affairs with dozens of goddesses and mortal women. Is that true?
Zeus – Absolutely not! It was NOT dozens . . . it was more like hundreds. At one point I was married to Hera ,,, my sister. I even had an affair with Aphrodite once she was grown. And we had a son, Priapus … but that’s another story.
Perhaps I’ll Skype you again one night to relate more of my exploits. Ciao for now.
me – Ciao, you Casanova, you.
Sources: Hesiod the poet, the 'Theogony’ (describing the origins of the gods of the ancient Greeks). Sometime during the 7th century B.C.
Zeus, personal communication, 21st century
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author,"Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Includes much-needed, valuable information for older workers.
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How entertaining! Makes Hollywood look really tame :-)
That was divine - you've even got the Gods talking to you!! :)
Truly unique. Very entertaining and even has a smidgeon of the myth in it.
I am completely breathless! Firstly because my modest name appears in a prologue of an interview conducted by the Great ?????????? drbj with the god of all Greek gods, The Great ??????? Zeus aka Casanova – (I feel so-so honored!) – and secondly because of the truth revealed regarding Aphrodite’s descent – so she was in fact NOT a piece of scum but the daughter of the omniscient Zeus - and thirdly... oh, I can go on and on and on...
Drbj, this is truly a very interesting hub – I feel inspired to study all those Greek gods. I know, or rather knew, the Sumerian gods, and the kings of England... and so forth... but those magnificent Greek gods, oh my, let me just vote this hub 9,570 feet high to the summit of Mount Olympus where those gods dwell in the ultra waves of Skype.
Excellent. It is amazing who can contact you on Skype. They should use your hub in one of their ads,
That's what I like to see drbj, go straight to the top and cut out the middle men (or deities)! Do we have to bow and scrape before we comment on one of your hubs now that you have been blessed from on high?
Drbj - you had me as soon as the skype began to alert you at 2 am.....my thoughts are always "this can't be a good thing" when the phone rings during the wee hours:) but wow! Zeus was calling? Now that's pretty awesome and worth waking up for.....or did you? Lol. Very fun and Suoer interesting. My kids are into Mythology now - especially my 12 year old! She's fascinated and knows more than I do on the subject.
drbj: What a wonderfully cooperative interviewee Zeus turns out to be! You are an ideal interviewer what with your questions being answered and more! You end on a kind note when you just call him a Casanova though!
Thank you for sharing, voted up, etc.,
Derdriu
Ha ha ha ha - as usual - and was Priapus where they got...er....priapism or was that HIS son? Holy cow~ Or holy Zeus.
I gotta say Clooney would make a fabulous Zeus. I also have to say that as usual your interviews are enlightening though hilarious~ Is there a button for that?
Lastly - doesn't the Zeus with the thunderbolt shot kinda sorta remind you of Saddlerider? OMG - Maybe he lives amongst us~!
How the heck did Zeus get your Skype number? I still don't know how to use that skype thingy.
Next time he calls though, have Zeus tell Quetzalcoatl to give ME a ringy dingy so I can interview him and find out why the Meso-American gods were so blood thirsty. It's a life long question of mine.
Nice hub, what kind of sleeping pills do you take? I may want some of those.
I am just LOL at the comments too:) oh dear...I have to be honest - the 12 year old had to tell me that these were just myths....I was so surprised! Haha J/K. She is really smart and has corrected me on the proper pronunciation once! Then she made fun of me! Ahhh my kids are book worms for sure!
A mimosa before bed is pretty sweet too!
I feel like i've had a course in mythology. Your interview was very educational. Since you brought it up, i do hope you will interview George Clooney, of course he's not a God, but he's a real hunk. Loved your interview, you're so fortunate to know all of these important people and Gods, for Gods sake. Happy skyping..
How brave you are to engage in conversation with Zeus. I think I would have shut my computer down.
Only you drbj could pull off Zeus - an interview that is! Well done - loved it!
I do believe you are a genius! Up and awesome and funny too!
Too funny! I was hoping you'd ask him about all his love affairs, and you did! He didn't try to have his way with you, did he??
I am in stitches. This has got to be your funniest interview ever. You got me started right from the first "Oh my God" down to the Netphlix/Radio City Muse Hall aside.
As a lover of Green mythology from way back, this was like visiting old friends AND getting some privileged inside information! Loved it!
I've always wondered how gods communicate. Now, I know. They skype. Wasn't Zuess the Roman name for this god, and didn't he have a different name in Greek?
Enjoyed this very much. Rated up (to the heavens.) Lynda
Zeus is the father of God, right! I really enjoy all the interview with Zeus. You have wonderful imagination and all the pictures so amazing. Only you can make a hub like this one. Well done and rated up!
Prasetio
I love these interviews!
It isn't nice to upset father Zeus Drbj. Get the Gods' stories right next time my lady. Wait a sec...if you do that then we might not get anymore of your classic interviews with them. Keep the thunderbolts coming madam! Wonderful Drbj!
This is a fascinating and funny look at Greek mythology, drbj. My cousin in Britain is trying to persuade me to use Skype so that we can connect with each over Christmas. I've never used Skype before, but it must be a wonderful method of communication if it's used by Greek gods!
Zeus is a cool guy. He even added me on Facebook. lol You are so lucky he skyped you :) I enjoyed this interview. You are the best! xx
Well Barbara Walters look out, drjb has now entered the building with the greatest celebrity interview yet!
I used to read a lot of the Greek myths to my kids when they were young. When our Alexander understood that the whole scene was all over, he asked me, where did the Greek gods go when people stopped believing in them? That kid used to ask the most interesting questions. He felt bad about the gods being neglected. But they sure have not been forgotten.
I just dropped by to say my question itched me so much I had to go look it up for myself. Yep, Jupiter in Rome, Zeus in Greece, Odin in Norway... Makes you wonder if he isn't skipping out on his Skype bills.
Wow! And I thought John Hurt was the real Zeus! Another great one Dr. BJ! Great! Just Great! Voted up, up and away!
Those question marks were indeed well-chosen Greek words... Tst-tst, what shall we say? HubPages' is linguistic retarded? But I'm sure, drbj, you just knew it was godly-sweet compliments.
Hello, drbj, and thank yhou for another beutiful and brilliantly written interview. It was perfect and I learned so much from it.
There just isn't anything on the web to compare with your "interviews" How you bring each charachter to life with your questions. Really, quite marvelous! In addition, I always learn from reading your hubs. You are amazing and I thank you. Voted up and across the board!
vocalcoach~
..aha the legendary interview series is back in hubtown and I am so glad - I will able to grace my Facebook page once again with your genius wit and your mind of a scholar - there will be a direct link back here of course and hopefully a movie deal too - about time someone from Hollywood offered you a contract - this would make a great film series based on your interviews - no kidding - just contact my buddy Alastar Packer, a film star in his own right here at the Hub and tell him I sent you - always a pleasure - glad I came for a visit - can I stay for awhile - I just want to look around at this grand museum of hubs ---- lake erie time ontario canada 7:43pm sending you warm wishes and good energy from a cold lake
Well the son mentioned turned his attention to comic books. Funny how people have always loved super heroes. Are comic books a substitute for the super hero gods of the past?
drbj, I loved this! I love mythology and how they overlap in each culture. You reminded me of my trip to Italy in 2006, with all of the pictures, I ran from church to church - museum to museum - piazza to piazza just to snap pictures of all the art. I caught the Birth of Venus in Florence. The statue of Poseidon in Rome.
They are all so romantic - yes if you leave out how incestuous and gross at times...
Great hub - wonderful research! Erin
Brilliant!! I also love Greek mythology and had to read your hub when I saw the title 'Interview with Zeus'. I was curious as to what it would say. & you know what? I loved it. So imaginitive! I actually felt like I was listening to Zeus replying to your questions.
People who don't love and adore Greek Mythology would probably think we are nutters with a Greek God persecution complex! Who cares, I'm crazy about Greek Myths!
That was so much fun! I never knew much about the gods and goddesses until I was looking for new topics to write about here. What a clever idea!







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sord87 Level 1 Commenter 5 months ago
Zeus makes me remember about Hercules!I just wonder whether Hercules also a son of Zeus!