Interview with Zeus
80Interview with Zeus
Greek mythology has always fascinated me. How about you? I enjoy reading those fantastic stories about the gods on Mount Olympus and their internecine warfare as well as intergalactic love affairs. I saw the film, “The Immortals,” and was thinking about Zeus and his brother and sister gods when I fell asleep last night.
The ringing of my phone awakened me. Wait a minute. That was not the phone. It was the Skype on my computer. Now I am really awake. When your phone or Skype rings late, very late at night, do you expect to hear good news? Of course not. You brace yourself for the worst news possible. Once braced, I opened my Skype. Who was calling me?
This could not be real. The Skype read: "Zeus." The renowned and powerful immortal Greek god, Zeus? Wow, what an opportunity that would be for me to conduct one of my supernatural, and to quote Epigramman, ‘world-class’ interviews.
me – Who is this? It’s 2 am in the morning here.
Booming Voice – It’s me, Zeus.
me – Zeus Galliafanakopopoulous, the owner of my favorite Greek restaurant?
Voice – No, Zeus the Greek God.
me – (shouting) Oh my God! Oh my God!
Voice –You got that right!
me – I can’t believe it. Do you have Skype on Mount Olympus?
Zeus – I AM Lord of the Sky and the Heavens, you know. Also president and CEO of A T T & T – Amalgamated Telephones, Thunderbolts and Tablets.
Me – I thought Steve Jobs invented the iPad tablet.
Zeus – Who do you think implanted the idea?
me – (incredulous) What can I do for you, Omnipotent Zeus?
Zeus – I am also omniscient so I know you have the ability to conduct interviews with dead celebrities and weird animals. Therefore, talking with an immortal like me would be easy as spanakopita (Greek spinach pie) for you. I want to set the record straight on something that you wrote in a comment on Hubpages.
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The Comment
me – What did I write? Which comment?
Zeus – You made a semi–erroneous statement about the birth of my daughter, Aphrodite, in a comment on the beautiful hub, “Don’t Let Me Love You,” by Martie Coetzer. You wrote and I quote – I am reading it directly from the hub:
“Your powerful poetry, Martie, ignited this explanation, Of Aphrodite's mythic birth as a result of castration . . . " etc., etc., etc.
". . . Cronus was the capo di capo of Gods before Zeus, With all the other Gods he played fast and loose.
Uranus, another God, irked him with some transgression, In retribution, sweet Cronus performed a castration.
He flung Uranus' severed genitals into the sea, Where amid froth and foam our heroine came to be.
No ifs ands or buts, She was born from the nuts. Wait - there is still more, A seashell bore her to shore . . . " etc. etc. etc.
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The Backstory
me – Were those not the facts?
Zeus – Yes and no. Regarding the castration episode, it is true, Cronus did mutilate Uranus but I need to tell you the backstory which you must keep, you’ll pardon the expression, privates, er … I mean, private.
Me – My lips are sealed.
Zeus – Uranus, God of the Sky, was my grandfather who mated with Gaia, Goddess of the Earth.
They produced twelve Titans – Oceanus, Coeus, Crius, Hyperion, Iapetos, Mnemosyne, Phoebe, Rhea, Tethys, Theia, Themis, and Cronus.
Me – How do you remember all twelve Titans’ names so easily?
Zeus – You forget, I am a God. The Titans also had three very strange–looking brothers called the Hecatonchires. Each one had 50 heads and 100 arms. Trust me.
Uranus despised these three offspring and banished them to Tartarus which is located underneath Hell.
Their mother, Gaia, was furious and asked her other sons, the Titans, to punish Uranus. Only my father, Cronus, agreed. He used a scythe to do the deed and disposed of the evidence in the sea.
Aphrodite
me – Are you saying that Aphrodite did not arise from the subsequent foam created by the dissected, discarded genitalia?
Zeus – No, the myth of her arising from the sea foam was perpetuated by the artist, Sandro Botticelli, who created a magnificent work of art representing her oceanic birth.
me – I apologize, Zeus, for the error. Who are the parents of Aphrodite?
Zeus – You may be surprised to learn that the goddess, Dione, is her mother.
me – And her father . . .
Zeus – Who else? Me!
Birth of Zeus
me – Do you have time to corroborate one more myth? The story of your birth is remarkable. Did your mother, Rhea, fool your father with that stone trick?
Zeus – My father, Cronus, despite his power had very low self-esteem. He learned of a prophecy that declared he would lose his throne as the Capo di Capo of Gods to one of his children.
So he began the barbaric and somewhat difficult custom of swallowing each child whole shortly after birth. That is what happened to my older brothers, Hades and Poseidon, and my sisters, Demeter, Hera and Hestia.
me – How did you avoid that uncivilized ordeal?
Zeus – My mother, Rhea, hated my father for his despicable, sadistic behavior so when I was born she hid me in a cave in Crete. She gave Cronus a large stone wrapped in infant swaddling clothes which he promptly swallowed. His throat muscles were amazing. His brain cells … NOT!
When I grew up, my grandmother, Gaia, gave me an emetic to administer to Cronus and my siblings were retrieved, hale and hearty and none the worse for wear.
"The Immortals" film
"The Immortals"
me – Have you by any chance seen the new film, "The Immortals"?
Zeus – Yes, I ordered it from Netphlix. But it’s not available so I came to earth disguised as a mortal and viewed it at Radio City Muse Hall.
me – Do you mean Netflix and Radio City Music Hall?
Zeus – Whatever. I’m writing a nasty letter to the director about those ridiculous costumes that were created for the actors portraying me and my brother gods.
That golden armor and those mini skirts made us all look like a bunch of sissy boys.
And why didn’t he dress John Hurt, the actor who portrays me as a mortal, the Old Man, more elegantly? He looked like a raggedy bum down on his luck.
me – I agree, he did look rather shabby. Is there another actor you would have liked to have seen in that role?
Zeus – I would have chosen someone like George Clooney with a beard. And a much stronger, more powerful physique. Like me.
me - I can't help but wonder, how do you stay so young looking?
Zeus - I eat healthy, exercise regularly, and lie about my age.
Zeus – the Love Machine
me – According to many of the myths I have read, you had love affairs with dozens of goddesses and mortal women. Is that true?
Zeus – Absolutely not! It was NOT dozens . . . it was more like hundreds. At one point I was married to Hera ,,, my sister. I even had an affair with Aphrodite once she was grown. And we had a son, Priapus … but that’s another story.
Perhaps I’ll Skype you again one night to relate more of my exploits. Ciao for now.
me – Ciao, you Casanova, you.
Sources: Hesiod the poet, the 'Theogony’ (describing the origins of the gods of the ancient Greeks). Sometime during the 7th century B.C.
Zeus, personal communication, 21st century
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© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author,"Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Includes much-needed, valuable information for older workers.
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How entertaining! Makes Hollywood look really tame :-)
That was divine - you've even got the Gods talking to you!! :)
Truly unique. Very entertaining and even has a smidgeon of the myth in it.
Hi, sord, nice to see you here. Yes, Heracles (Hercules was the Roman spelling of his name) was one of the sons of Zeus from a liaison he had with Alcmene, who was said to be the wisest and most beautiful of all mortal women. So Heracles/Hercules was half god you might say.
I am completely breathless! Firstly because my modest name appears in a prologue of an interview conducted by the Great ?????????? drbj with the god of all Greek gods, The Great ??????? Zeus aka Casanova – (I feel so-so honored!) – and secondly because of the truth revealed regarding Aphrodite’s descent – so she was in fact NOT a piece of scum but the daughter of the omniscient Zeus - and thirdly... oh, I can go on and on and on...
Drbj, this is truly a very interesting hub – I feel inspired to study all those Greek gods. I know, or rather knew, the Sumerian gods, and the kings of England... and so forth... but those magnificent Greek gods, oh my, let me just vote this hub 9,570 feet high to the summit of Mount Olympus where those gods dwell in the ultra waves of Skype.
Excellent. It is amazing who can contact you on Skype. They should use your hub in one of their ads,
That's what I like to see drbj, go straight to the top and cut out the middle men (or deities)! Do we have to bow and scrape before we comment on one of your hubs now that you have been blessed from on high?
Drbj - you had me as soon as the skype began to alert you at 2 am.....my thoughts are always "this can't be a good thing" when the phone rings during the wee hours:) but wow! Zeus was calling? Now that's pretty awesome and worth waking up for.....or did you? Lol. Very fun and Suoer interesting. My kids are into Mythology now - especially my 12 year old! She's fascinated and knows more than I do on the subject.
drbj: What a wonderfully cooperative interviewee Zeus turns out to be! You are an ideal interviewer what with your questions being answered and more! You end on a kind note when you just call him a Casanova though!
Thank you for sharing, voted up, etc.,
Derdriu
Ha ha ha ha - as usual - and was Priapus where they got...er....priapism or was that HIS son? Holy cow~ Or holy Zeus.
I gotta say Clooney would make a fabulous Zeus. I also have to say that as usual your interviews are enlightening though hilarious~ Is there a button for that?
Lastly - doesn't the Zeus with the thunderbolt shot kinda sorta remind you of Saddlerider? OMG - Maybe he lives amongst us~!
Thank you, Nellieanna. Makes Hollywood look tame, eh? I guess those immortals really knew how to live ... and love!
Thank you for the 'divine,' Feline. Vwey apt, my dear. And I guess it's better to have the Gods talking TO you that ABOUT you. No?
Hi, Becky. Thank you for the unique and entertaining. Whatever smidgeon of the myth appear in this hub, you can thank Zeus. He was much more, shall I say, open, than I expected. :)
Don't be breathless, Martie, for too long; it interferes with the brain cells I'm told. It was genuinely my pleasure to cite your lovely, creative poetry that inspired this hub in the first place.
Those question marks in your comment - do they represent a comment in another language? Just wonderin'. Delighted that I could share with you the true story of Aphrodite's birth, thanks to Zeus.
I have always been interested in the Greek myths and stories of the Gods - their activities rival even the most imaginative screenplays and scenarios one sees today.
Thank you for the height of the up vote - truly an achievement I will treasure. Hope you are having a pleasant weekend. :)
Thank you, christopher for the 'excellent.' What a wonderful idea that is to contact Skype to cite my hub on their advertising. But first, of course, I will have to get a release from Zeus. If I can tear him away from his other, shall we say, fruitful pursuits.
Hi, CM, You found me out. Going straight to the top has always been my route. Forget the bowing and scraping now that I am interviewing deities. A small curtsey and kissing my ring would suffice. :)
Hi, Kelly. We both share the same trepidation at late night/early morning calls - Skype, phone or otherwise.
Of course I was awake. Are you intimating .... Naw, you wouldn't. Would you?
Your kids will enjoy the Greek myths as long as they remember they are just that - interesting stories. With some fascinating ancient Greek culture to boot.
Isn't it wonderful how our children become so smart so soon? Seems like only yesterday they were learning to walk and talk. And give orders. :)
Hi, Derdriu. Yes, Zeus was wonderfully cooperative as an interviewee. I did try not to upset him in any way. Those thunderbolts of his can leave a mean scar.
Thank you for appreciating my interviewing skill. And you noticed how careful I was with that parting appellation. I don't want him to say No to another future discussion. Sharing was my pleasure. Thank you for the up, etc.
How the heck did Zeus get your Skype number? I still don't know how to use that skype thingy.
Next time he calls though, have Zeus tell Quetzalcoatl to give ME a ringy dingy so I can interview him and find out why the Meso-American gods were so blood thirsty. It's a life long question of mine.
Nice hub, what kind of sleeping pills do you take? I may want some of those.
I knew, Audrey, you would pick up on Priapus. And to answer your delicate question, yes, Priapus was the son of Zeus and Aphrodite. He also lent his name to the condition where a fellow has a constant ... er, where a guy, to put it quaintly, gets "too big for his pants."
I'd like to see George as Zeus, too. Liam Neeson did a creditable job in 'Clash of the Titans,' but with a scraggly beard and a miserable hairdo.
Thank you, m'luv, for your gracious comments about my interviews. I'm thinking of requesting that 'hilarious' button you mentioned. It would be useful for your hubs, too.
You noticed the resemblance of SaddleRider to Zeus. It's not just a resemblance, my dear. Oops, I promised not to tell!
Hi, Lela, How did Zeus get my Skype number, you ask? He IS God of the Sky - all things are possible. I didn't know you were such a fan of Quetzalcoatl. I've always wondered about those gods' blood lust myself. If I find Zeus in a really good mood, I'll ask the question.
I never take sleeping pills, my dear. An overdose of psychotropic meds does it for me. Thanks for stopping by.
I am just LOL at the comments too:) oh dear...I have to be honest - the 12 year old had to tell me that these were just myths....I was so surprised! Haha J/K. She is really smart and has corrected me on the proper pronunciation once! Then she made fun of me! Ahhh my kids are book worms for sure!
A mimosa before bed is pretty sweet too!
I feel like i've had a course in mythology. Your interview was very educational. Since you brought it up, i do hope you will interview George Clooney, of course he's not a God, but he's a real hunk. Loved your interview, you're so fortunate to know all of these important people and Gods, for Gods sake. Happy skyping..
How brave you are to engage in conversation with Zeus. I think I would have shut my computer down.
Only you drbj could pull off Zeus - an interview that is! Well done - loved it!
I do believe you are a genius! Up and awesome and funny too!
Too funny! I was hoping you'd ask him about all his love affairs, and you did! He didn't try to have his way with you, did he??
I am in stitches. This has got to be your funniest interview ever. You got me started right from the first "Oh my God" down to the Netphlix/Radio City Muse Hall aside.
As a lover of Green mythology from way back, this was like visiting old friends AND getting some privileged inside information! Loved it!
I've always wondered how gods communicate. Now, I know. They skype. Wasn't Zuess the Roman name for this god, and didn't he have a different name in Greek?
Enjoyed this very much. Rated up (to the heavens.) Lynda
Yes, indeedy, Ruby, you have had a course in mythology and I've given you an A+ for finding it educational. I would be delighted to interview George but until now have focused on those celebrities no longer with us - in body, that is. Libel laws, m'dear.
George may not yet be a God but he has the LOOK! Thank you for loving this interview. Zeus sends his regards ... via Skype.
I dunno, Kelly, it's fun to believe in myths as long as you know they ARE myths. Right? Your lovely, intelligent daughter already knows that Zeus is pronounced like the word, 'loose.' But tell her, if she dares to make fun of her creative, ingenious mother, Zeus' thunderbolt will find her. Trust me.
Delighted you are enjoying the comments also. Me, too. Happy Mimosa evenings! :)
Zeus is the father of God, right! I really enjoy all the interview with Zeus. You have wonderful imagination and all the pictures so amazing. Only you can make a hub like this one. Well done and rated up!
Prasetio
Hi, sheila. It wasn't as much bravery to interview Zeus as it was insight on my part to realize he held the power in that relationship. One never insults a thunderbolt thrower, and ALWAYS laughs at his jokes.
I love these interviews!
Oh, thank you, psychicdog, for loving this interview. And the well done. I knew you would appreciate the difficulty and hazards one encounters when interviewing an immortal.
Hi, bp, I am most appreciative of your comment that you believe I am a genius. Now that makes two of us! And thank you for the up, awesome and funny votes. You are so discriminating, m'luv.
Thank you, Holle, for visiting and the 'too funny.' I'm hoping to learn more about Zeus' many love affairs the next time he calls. I regret I cannot answer your question. I am just not the type who kisses and tells. (Most of the time.)
I left you in stitches, Hilary? What a lovely compliment!
I knew you would appreciate my OMG and Radio City Muse Hall remarks. You are my kind of commenter, m'luv.
We lovers of Greek mythology must stick together. I will attempt to learn more privileged information to share with you in the future. Thanks for loving this.
Now the secret about Skype is out, Lynda. It's not just for us mortals. Regarding your question about the name, Zeus is the Greek name for the Big Kahuna god who was God of the Sky and the Heavens. Jupiter is the Roman name.
Thank you for enjoying this and rating it up to the heavens. I could not possibly ask for more!
Thank you, pras, for visiting and enjoying Zeus' interview. Sometimes I think to myself, I'm going too far with this ... better hold back a little. But then I take my meds and all is right with the world again. Heh, heh.
Thank you immensely for the well done and the up. You know you are appreciated.
Hi, Will. Thank you for loving these interviews. I love you, too. But keep it to yourself. I don't want Zeus to know there's someone else.
It isn't nice to upset father Zeus Drbj. Get the Gods' stories right next time my lady. Wait a sec...if you do that then we might not get anymore of your classic interviews with them. Keep the thunderbolts coming madam! Wonderful Drbj!
I will take your advice, Alastar, and take pains not to upset Zeus or any other of his buddy gods. Offending him would put an end to his reminiscing stories. So I'll be nice. Thank you for your feedback and the 'wonderful.' More thunderbolts may be on the way.
This is a fascinating and funny look at Greek mythology, drbj. My cousin in Britain is trying to persuade me to use Skype so that we can connect with each over Christmas. I've never used Skype before, but it must be a wonderful method of communication if it's used by Greek gods!
Thank you, Alicia, for finding this fascinating and funny. Me, too. Yes, even the Greek gods have learned to Skype. Because the price is right ... it's free! Zeus may be planning a television commercial endorsement soon.
Zeus is a cool guy. He even added me on Facebook. lol You are so lucky he skyped you :) I enjoyed this interview. You are the best! xx
Well Barbara Walters look out, drjb has now entered the building with the greatest celebrity interview yet!
I used to read a lot of the Greek myths to my kids when they were young. When our Alexander understood that the whole scene was all over, he asked me, where did the Greek gods go when people stopped believing in them? That kid used to ask the most interesting questions. He felt bad about the gods being neglected. But they sure have not been forgotten.
I just dropped by to say my question itched me so much I had to go look it up for myself. Yep, Jupiter in Rome, Zeus in Greece, Odin in Norway... Makes you wonder if he isn't skipping out on his Skype bills.
If Zeus added you on Facebook, then you, twentyfive, are a really cool guy, too. Thank you for enjoying this interview and for commenting. You are the best also!
Wow! And I thought John Hurt was the real Zeus! Another great one Dr. BJ! Great! Just Great! Voted up, up and away!
What a lovely comment, Dolores, comparing my celebrity interview to Babwa's - I'm overwhelmed, my dear. Thank you.
Kids that are exposed to the heroes of the Greek myths usually love them - the gods are larger than life figures - like Superman and Batman and the rest.
Your son, Alexander, asked a very intelligent question. Where do the gods go when no one believes in them any longer? We may no longer believe in Greek mythology but we have not forgotten it. There is much to be learned from all those enchanting stories.
Zeus is known by so many names, Lynda, he may have been one of the first to use an alias. A few of the other names that people used for him were Ombrios, the rain god; Kataibates, the descender; Keraunos, lightening; Gamelios, the god of marriage; Teleios, the giver of completeness; Pater, the father; and Soter, the savior. As you suggested, I'm sure he has multiple Skype sites.
Nope, Dex, John Hurt was just a poorly dressed and very shabby imitation of Zeus as a mortal. With a lousy wardrobe. Thank you for all the 'Great' comments and the up, up and away. I do appreciate your visits.
Those question marks were indeed well-chosen Greek words... Tst-tst, what shall we say? HubPages' is linguistic retarded? But I'm sure, drbj, you just knew it was godly-sweet compliments.
Hello, drbj, and thank yhou for another beutiful and brilliantly written interview. It was perfect and I learned so much from it.
Thank you, Martie, I knew those question marks represented something nice in a foreign language. And I thank you for that. Seems Hubpages is not partial to furrin languages.
You are so welcome, Hanna, it was my pleasure to bring you Zeus' conversation and repartee. And thank you for the most gracious comments - you ARE a sweetie pie.
There just isn't anything on the web to compare with your "interviews" How you bring each charachter to life with your questions. Really, quite marvelous! In addition, I always learn from reading your hubs. You are amazing and I thank you. Voted up and across the board!
vocalcoach~
You are so kind, Audrey. Such gracious, lovable comments. I do appreciate both them and you, m'dear. I'm delighted if you learn something from my hubs. I almost always do when I am writing them - that's when I can stop laughing to myself like a dodo bird, that is. Thanks again for your adulatory remarks and votes. You are lovable too, you know. :)
..aha the legendary interview series is back in hubtown and I am so glad - I will able to grace my Facebook page once again with your genius wit and your mind of a scholar - there will be a direct link back here of course and hopefully a movie deal too - about time someone from Hollywood offered you a contract - this would make a great film series based on your interviews - no kidding - just contact my buddy Alastar Packer, a film star in his own right here at the Hub and tell him I sent you - always a pleasure - glad I came for a visit - can I stay for awhile - I just want to look around at this grand museum of hubs ---- lake erie time ontario canada 7:43pm sending you warm wishes and good energy from a cold lake
Well the son mentioned turned his attention to comic books. Funny how people have always loved super heroes. Are comic books a substitute for the super hero gods of the past?
Welcome, Epi. You just missed Zeus, in person. He confided that he is your devoted fan and that did not surprise me. We are legion.
A film series of my Interviews with the Dead? Intriguing thought! When I have finished 24 of them I may put them in an eBook. I do appreciate your visits, your generous comments and linking my hubs. Hope you are staying warm and comfy.
That's very perceptive, Dolores. Yes, we always love super heroes. Maybe because they are larger than life and can achieve some of the feats we would like - in our fantasies - to accomplish.
I would not be surprised if Stan Lee and some of the other creators of those comic book super heroes got their inspirations from the Greek gods.
drbj, I loved this! I love mythology and how they overlap in each culture. You reminded me of my trip to Italy in 2006, with all of the pictures, I ran from church to church - museum to museum - piazza to piazza just to snap pictures of all the art. I caught the Birth of Venus in Florence. The statue of Poseidon in Rome.
They are all so romantic - yes if you leave out how incestuous and gross at times...
Great hub - wonderful research! Erin
Hi, Erin. And I love you for loving this. I've always had a special affection for Greek mythology so I understand the attraction for others. As you pointed out, Rome and Florence have some of the finest museums where one can view outstanding Greek statuary as well as many works of art by Michaelangelo and daVinci.
Brilliant!! I also love Greek mythology and had to read your hub when I saw the title 'Interview with Zeus'. I was curious as to what it would say. & you know what? I loved it. So imaginitive! I actually felt like I was listening to Zeus replying to your questions.
People who don't love and adore Greek Mythology would probably think we are nutters with a Greek God persecution complex! Who cares, I'm crazy about Greek Myths!
What a delight to meet you, editorsupremo. Thank you for finding me. And loving this. Zeus thanks you, too. Not to worry if others do not understand our mutual admiration for the Greek deities. Not everyone has the advantage of our superior intellects and inquiring minds. Right?
That was so much fun! I never knew much about the gods and goddesses until I was looking for new topics to write about here. What a clever idea!
Nice to meet you, Jean. Happy this was so much fun for you and thanks for the 'clever idea' comment. Zeus and I think it was, too.
sord87 Level 1 Commenter 5 months ago
Zeus makes me remember about Hercules!I just wonder whether Hercules also a son of Zeus!