Old Age Benefits
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Old Age Benefits and Old Age Alerts
It is said that as you get older, you get wiser. Have you heard that, too? The only wiser I get has a ‘Bud’ in front of it. But I have learned of multiple old age benefits over time, and I am delighted to share them with you – in rhyme.
Wait a minute. Do I hear you thinking, “What makes me so qualified?” Well, I am older than dirt, although I am not as old as Methuselah who was reported to have lived to the age of 969 in Biblical times.
Cab Calloway "It Ain't Necessarily So"
“It Ain't Necessarily So" – music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin, from the Gershwins' opera, Porgy and Bess.
Forgive me while I digress for a moment and share my favorite song lyric about that aged icon. The song: “It Ain’t Necessarily So.” The lyric is as follows:
“Methus’lah lived 900 years . . . Methus’lah lived 900 years . . . But who calls dat livin’ . . . When no gal’ll give in . . . To no man who’s 900 years!”
If the truth be told, I am not that old,
I hold my temper and ‘make do.’
When someone calls me at 9:00 PM
And asks, “Sorry, did I wake you?”
Old Age Benefits
• Whatever you purchase from this point on will not wear out.
. . . Only problem – you will need strength for the price tag – to tear out.
• You can order the Senior Special without telling little white lies.
. . . So go ahead and enjoy those discounted French fries.
• You can eat supper any time you want after 4:00 PM.
. . . Then you’ll have time before bedtime for a rewarding BM.
• ‘Happy hour’ for you is a refreshing nap.
. . . You don’t have to sit in a bar list’ning to rap.
”He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled.” - Gene Fowler
'Gigi' 1958 Hermione Gingold & Maurice Chevalier "I Remember It Well"
• Getting lucky is finding your car in the parking lot.
. . . Before, it meant that your partner found the right spot.
• You have learned not to take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
. . . Experience will soon teach you what is wrong … and what is right.
• People will no longer see you as a hypochondriac.
. . . You can complain all you want about your neck and your back.
• Although you may think it’s a curse,
. . . Believe me, your eyes will not get much worse.
• You cannot be tried by a jury of your peers I’m told.
. . . Why not? Because there are none available that old.
• You can sit in a rocking chair and offer no resistance,
. . . Though you cannot get it started without some assistance.
• You can forecast the weather when your joints give you pain.
. . . Weathermen call you to learn will there be sunshine or rain?
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• Your doctor says, 'I have good news and bad,' without any tact.
. . . The good news is: that you are not a hypochondriac.
• Your family always offers a ride – what a deal!
. . . Why? Because they do not want you behind the wheel.
• You search for your glasses, even under the bed
.. . . Where do you find them? On top of your head!
• You welcome an "all-nighter" but it’s not a spree,
. . . It means you did not have to get up to pee!
• No one expects you to move very fast.
. . . You conserve your strength so it will last.
• Now you are wise enough to watch your step,
. . . But you don’t go out, you have lost all your pep.
• In a hostage situation, you may feel hunger and thirst,
. . . But do not worry, they are likely to release you first.
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
… But you still have your health, knock on wood.
Old Age Alerts
What to look out for wherever you go,
But then again, you already know:
• Steps are much higher.
• Small print is smaller.
• It takes more time to light your fire.
• Everyone else is taller.
• Small hills are steeper.
• Stairs are much longer.
• You often sleep in a sleeper,
• You dance the waltz, not the conga.
"I Forgot Song" - Tom Rush
• You argue with others about Social Security,
. . . Government spending, and bottled water purity.
• You enjoyed seeing that film, “Something’s Got to Give.”
. . . Now will someone please tell you on which street you live?
• You straighten out the wrinkles in your socks – there are many.
. . . Oh, wait a minute, you just noticed you aren't wearing any.
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” - Mark Twain
• Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
. . . Your back goes out … although you don’t.
• When you sleep all stretched out on the bed,
. . . Your family worries that you are dead.
• You light the candles on your birthday cake and say, ‘Hiya,’’
. . . To nearby campers who form a circle and sing, 'Kumbaya.'
"The trick is growing up without growing old." - Casey Stengel
• You keep repeating yourself.
. . . You keep repeating yourself.
• You get the hotel bill for $200 a night and you holler,
. . . You remember when a room at Motel 6 was just six dollars.
• It will take two tries – that is your mission,
. . . When rising from a sitting position.
• Your assets are lower, in front and behind.
. . . You walk much slower, But you still have your mind!
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” - Mark Twain
'Philosophy for Old Age - George Carlin
To reward you for reading this far, here is my favorite “old age” joke: This old fellow, I’ll call him Sam, goes to a new doctor for his annual checkup.
Doctor – Sam, you are in great shape for a sixty-year old.
Sam – Who says I’m sixty years old?
Doctor – You’re not sixty? How old are you?
Sam – I will be eighty next month.
Doctor – That’s remarkable. Eighty? Do you mind if I ask you at what age your father died?
Sam – Who says my father is dead?
Doctor – He’s not dead?
Sam – Nope, he will be 104 this year!
Doctor – With such a good family medical history, your grandfather must have been pretty old when he died.
Sam – Who says my grandfather is dead?
Doctor – He’s not dead???
Sam – Nope, he will be 126 this year and he’s getting married next week.
Doctor – OMG! Why at his age would he want to get married?
Sam – Who says he wants to?
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." – Mark Twain
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© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
- Betty White Everything Old is New Again
Betty White isn't all that old. If you watch her hilarious, boisterous antics in movies and television, you would swear she is going on 39. - Betty White Back on TV
Betty White, funny as ever, is back on television in a new series ... - Getting Older Ain't a Problem - You Just Have to Liv...
Groucho Marx said getting older isn't a problem - you just have to live long enough. So here are suggestions for becoming a centenarian.
More "Old Age" Hubs
- Oldest Worker Award Sally Gordon Age 101
At the age of 101, Sally Gordon won America's Outstanding Oldest Worker Award for 2010, at a ceremony in Lincoln, Nebraska. - Old Age Ain't for Sissies
"The young don't know it yet but old age ain't for sissies." -Bette Davis. I have discovered a marvelous way to fight agism and disrespect with humor and laughter. - Andy Rooney Praises Women Over 50
Andy Rooney had lavish words of praise about women of a certain age. You know Andy. He is witty. He is funny. He has formidable eyebrows.
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drbj I must commend you on the funniest thing I have seen in the last 5 minutes. I really did laugh out loud and kinda scared my daughter.(she's 25 don't worry) I actually stopped and skimmed the rest as I want to sit back and really take my time reading it. Its wonderfully hysterical. Thanks for another great hub voted up IUF and I have already forgotten the other letter? haha I don't care!
Great hub and loved the story about the 126 year old man.
I havent quite reached the stage of drooling insensibility yet, but there are days when I feel it is bearing down on me rapidly. Thanks for taking the sting out of old age with your beautiful and funny hub.
If laughter is the best medicine, then you are one of the best doctors.
We do finally get the message of aging when “it takes twice as long to look half as good”; how true and how sad…
As for you being older than dirt, I don’t buy it for a minute – we know that old people are grouchy and grumpy, to put it politely - so there you have it; your sense of humor disqualifies you from ever getting old. The “Bud” in front of the “wiser” is a gem!
Thanks for putting all the old stuff in one hub. Now I don't have to look for it all!
Read this wonderful hub and loving it! You have made some cute points. As age approaches, the body starts to creak and ache. I can still dance the dances of the late 60s and early 70s. Even though I am near 60 (oops, I told my age), I do not intend to slow down even though I have pain sometimes. I intend to keep on trucking until I cannot do it anymore!
Drbj, I was laughing the whole time I was reading this hub. Aging is not a bad thing if you are taking care of yourself. I am approaching 60 and can still do more pushups than most teenagers. Exercising delays the aging process but we will all be old one day no matter what we do. I always tell people to enjoy their life before they reach that point. Thumbs up.
Thanks for this wonderful and funny hub about getting old:) We do need to joke about this stage in life otherwise it gets too depressing! And as you say it has its benefits:))
To me you are not old as dirt, it isn't possible with your humour, curiosity and intelligence. Maybe your body has got it wrong!
Tina
You are as old as you feel and I feel 21 again after laughing all the way through your hub.
I love the sleeping pill and laxative comment and the Sam joke. The Forgot song and the cartoons... hay... all of it.
Wonderful.
These were read aloud to my two sisters and some friends who are visiting and were a smash hit! One sis in particular howled with delight. The other who has a very dry sense of humor on top of being rather stoic, announced her opinion as, "Those were very good." Top-rated, A-number one funny Hub consensus drbj!
I chuckled out loud by myself in my office when I read the part about looking for eye glasses sitting on the top of the head.. I have done this, even when I was in my 20's. LOL!
Thanks for the chuckles and cartoons too!:)
Hi, Tim...
You're only 41? Bless you, my child, you are a youngster in the scheme of things. Delighted you could relate nevertheless to many of these benefits and alerts.
You are so right. Age is just a number. It is how we feel in or minds. Although good health does help. :)
Good to see you here, Michael. You laughed out loud? What a nice compliment. And thank you for the 'funniest thing' remark. Do come back and study this at your leisure.
Anyone who says my work is 'wonderfully hysterical' is one of my BFF. Thank you for the up, too. I'm delighted you found me.
Nice to meet you, Cousin Fudd. Do you by any chance have a relative named Elmer? Who stutters a bit?
Thanks for visiting and loving my 126-year-old man joke. It is one of my all-time favorites.
Me and Elmer are branch cousins
I laughed all the way through, funny and true..The cartoons were hilarious. George Carlin was full of wisdom. I miss him.. Thank's for another fun read. Voted up and away.....
I know what you mean, christopher, some days we feel older than others. But I try to ignore it. And finding humor in almost everything I see and hear and read does help. A lot!
Drooling insensiblity, my friend? That will never happen to you with your clever mind and appreciation of fine music, among other things.
Any time I can 'take the sting out of old age,' just give me a call. And thank you for your sublime compliment, I love being a 'Doctor of Laughter Medicine.'
This is a very funny hub, drbj - and behind the humor are some very true points, some of which apply to middle age as well as old age! I guess the best thing we can do is to laugh about the inevitable changes as we age.
That saying,“it takes twice as long to look half as good” is bittersweet, isn't it, Petra? Probably because it is true. But not for you, m'luv. I see a natural beauty in your bone structure in your avatar that will never be diminished.
But I was born in the Pleistocene Era which makes me at least as old as dirt. What you said is true. I know some older people who are not as sweet and positive as they were when they were younger so I don't hang out with them.
Thank you for mentioning my sense of humor. It is one of my best qualities. And I was delighted to see you enjoyed the “Bud” in front of the “wiser.”
Cute hub and I can definitely relate to many of these things mentioned. Still smiling! Humor is the best antidote to aging...at least in spirit! Voted funny and up!
Oh, Lela, you are too funny. And why would you have to look for the old stuff in the first place? You are still a 'spring chicken,' m'luv.
But thank you for the thanks anyway.
Nice to meet you, gmwilliams, and thank you for loving this hub. Yes, the creaks and the aches do creep up on us. I promise not to tell anyone you are 60. But you are still young - at least, compared to me.
I applaud your skill in dancing those 60s and 70s dances - you have to be agile for that. You just keep on trucking and I will never mention your age again. Trust me.
Hi, melpor. What a treat to see you here. Especially since you were laughing the whole time you were rading this hub. What a nice compliment!
You are right. We do have to take care of ourselves if we want to enjoy our old age. So you are approaching 60? So am I, but from the other side! :)
I admire that you can still do more pushups than most teenagers. My greatest pushup is pushing myself up from the dinner table before I eat too much.
As far as growing old, I plan to live forever. So far, so good. Thank you for the visit and the Thumbs up.
Yep, this a the only hub one ever has to read to find out how life will be in their "golden" years! Laughed all the way through it! All the more so because when my (grown) kids make "older" jokes ('course they mean OLD), I remind them there's a history of longevity in my family and I plan to be around when they get to the "all-nighter" stage so I can make "older" jokes about THEM. ;D
I am laughing through my tears! Up and funny and awesome!
Hi, Tina. I agree, if we don't joke about this stage of life when we reach it, we will really feel old. Trust me, I know.
Thank you for your sweet comments. If YOU need another best friend, I herewith apply for the position. Anyone who mentions my humor, curiosity and intelligence is already MY best friend. :)
YESSS! Rosemary, women are only as old as they feel. And men are old when they stop 'feeling.' Right?
Thank you for laughing all the way through this 'wonderful' hub. Delighted you felt 21 again but that's understandable. You don't look a day over 22. Trust me.
Thanks, too, fo appreciating my favorite Sam joke, my sometimes bawdy comments, the video and the cartoons. You are MY kind of reader, m'dear.
Dr. BJ! Your sense of humor is a treasure! Everyone else has said what I wanted to say, so hey, hey, hey, voted up, up and away!
Very funny stuff, especially that part about...about...I forgot that part.
Hello, Alastar. You, your sisters, and your visiting friends obviously have superior senses of humor. Smash hit, eh? That comment will keep me going for some time.
Give my love to your sister who 'howled with delight.' She is one of my newest best friends.
Give my regards to your other sister, the stoic one. A dry sense of humor does have possibilities.
And love AND regards to you for your gracious comments - all absolutely veracious, of course. 'Top-rated and A-number one"? Thank you, thank you.
Hi, VioletSun, I think I heard you chuckling to yourself from here. Delighted to know there are others in the universe who also search for their glasses while wearing them as head coverings.
I almost added the Old Age Alert about: 'We can do without sex but not without our glasses.' Decided not to because the only comment I could think of that rhymed ended with the a-word.
Whoa! I think I hear you chuckling again!
Hi, Ruby,
You 'laughed all the way through, funny and true?'
That's ust one of the reasons why I love you!
Thanks for finding that the cartoons were hilarious,
And George Carlin's humor as rare as a Stradivarius.
Like you, I miss him, too.
Thank you for your 'up and away.....'
That is the place I want to stay.
Thank you for agreeing with me, Alicia, that 'there are some very true points behind the humor.' Yes, there will be inevitable changes as we age - but then it's always better than the alternative. Correct?
And you know that I have always believed laughter is the best medicine. I even say so in my profile.
'Funny AND up?' You make my day, Peggy W. You are so right because you echo what I have believed my entire, very old life. Humor and laughter are the best antidotes to aging. Together with a knowledgeable physician. Thank you for the up vote.
Hi, JamaGenee. Thanks for laughing all the way through this hub - that's the end result that pleases me the most.
Yes, by all means, when your grown kids make older jokes, fight fire with fire. Just remind them of the possibility they will get to that all-nighter stage, too.
Just be very careful, my dear, not to alienate them. Remember, our children are the ones who select our nursing home! Heh, heh.
Ooh, bp, laughing through your tears? That's not easy but it is a hallmark I plan to continue to shoot for.
BTW, I have finally figured out what the bp stands for: Brilliant Pundit. Correct?
Thank you, thank you, for the 'Up and funny and awesome!'
That sounds like the lyrics to a wonderful song, Dex -
'Hey, hey, hey, voted up, up and away. Everyone's said what I wanted to say."
Love it! And thank you for that 'treasure' remark which I shall treasure. :)
Welcome to the club, Bill, er ... Phil, er ... wait a minute ... Will! That's it, Will!
It's a pleasure to have you visit, dear Gill. :)
...your hub subjects are always so much fun - and wise too - and that is precisely what puts you on such a world class level - you take us to the ridiculous to the sublime in a flash - there is a great duality to your work - George Carlin was a genius at this - and so are you! lake erie time ontario canada 3:49pm
DRBJ - a monumental peek at life and living - and is there any better alternative?
Nope.
I think the 30s were my worst years. I felt dumpy and wondered where had it all gone! hahaha. So glad I graduated from that decade and found it all.
I've been quibbling about being in my 80th year ever since my 79th birthday. Soon I'll get to the 80 mark and be into the 81st. If only little kids realized that when they have a 4th birthday, it means they've lived 4 years & are into their 5th (year, hopefully). They could make so much of that information. :-)
Hugs and thank you, though I have issues with some of the stereotyped picture painted for the youngsters about the golden years. Personally, I don't have to get up in the night to pee, don't have "intestinal sluggishness" or whatever it is Jamie Lee Curtis calls it now and don't use her solution or any other than regular healthy choices. etc. etc.
I love George Carlin's look at aging. Very wise fellow, he.
You've done it again, m'dear. An entertaining and informative hub full of chuckles, smiles and maybe a tear or two. Hugs.
Too true, too true.
OMW! This is absolutely hilarious. I'm laughing my jack off. Hahaha! I'm actually still a spring chicken, though I am already able to sense the benefits of old-age and some of them I even experience from time to time. There is one saying you've forgotten, drbj... naturally, being almost as old as Methuselah... When will you know you are dead? When you wake up without a pain somewhere in your body.
Thanks for this great laugh half past midnight, dbrj. I just love your sense of humor and hope with all my heart I will be like you one day when I'm fully grown :)))
Okay, let me get this right - Doctor, her Royal Brilliant Jo-majesty.
Hi again drbj. So glad I came back for another more sedate wander through this great hub. The Carlin video is just brilliant. Thanks. Is it OK to vote it up again not sure if it works that way? I'm sharing it on bookface so the kids can see it.
What a gem! I'm 53 and hubby is 64, so we can relate. I'm going to share this hub with him - he'll love it! I waltzed all over your buttons - couldn't round up the energy to do the conga on 'em!
Great and so true:)....love it and thank you...so now I can age with a smile on my face:)
You are awesome and that was wonderful! So talented......
You write the nicest things, Colin, and I'm talking about your comments to me as well as your exceptionally creative epigrams.
"World Class Level," you say. Wow! That's a nice place to be. Thank you, thank you. Being able to switch from the ridiculous to the sublime is what kept me from getting good grades in calculus and statistics ... a long, long time ago. I found those subjects just too serious.
Thanks for comparing the duality in my work to that of George Carlin, my hero. He was the Master. And so are you, epi-man. :)
funny hub and a love it. aging is a wonderful experience everyday, and a lot to share with the younger folks.
Hi, Nellieanna. I cannot believe you once felt 'dumpy.' To me, you epitomize all that is elegant and classy - and thin! I think it was the Duchess of Windsor who once said, "You can never be too rich, too conservative, nor too thin!" Amen.
Congratulations on your upcoming 80th birthday, m'luv, I would never have guessed. You have the youngest mind around. And the face and the body ain't bad either.
Delighted to hear that intestinal sluggishness does not plague you - it dwouldn't dare.
Happy you enjoy George Carlin's humor as much as I do. And you are right on the money - there is NO better alternative to living and enjoying life.
Thank you for being entertained and informed by this hub and the chuckles and smiles it produced. Hugs backatcha.
Good to know, Sheila, that you find these benefits and alerts "too true, too true." You are a woman of few words. That's a gift many men might cherish. :)
From your beautiful photo, Martie, you are a lovely, young-looking chick who has yet to reach 'spring chicken' status. You are a long, long way from experiencing the benefits (?) of old age.
Thank you for including that saying which I had not heard before: to wit, 'When will you know you are dead? When you wake up without a pain somewhere in your body. If I can think of enough additional old age benefits, I will add this one to them in Part Two.
What a sweet comment - to be like me when you are fully grown. Just keep on being positive, in love with life, and seeing the humor in everything. You are well on your way!
Yay, I adore that Royal title, Martie. But get up, girl, you don't have to curtsey . . . only everyone else! :)
Thanks for the return visit, Michael. Nice to meet another Carlin admirer. His humor was unique. Is it OK to vote Up again? Hey, it's OK with me.
I appreciate your sharing my hubs with anyone you wish: the kids, other grown-ups, discerning pets, whatever.
Hi, Holle. You and your hubby are still youngsters but sooner or later, all these wonderful (?) benefits will accrue. Now you have had a heads up.
So you waltzed all over my buttons. Felt it from here, my dear. Thank you, thank you. All my love and give my love to hubby, too.
How nice to see you here, Beata, delighted you love this hub and no thanks are necessary. It is entirely my pleasure.
You are a philosopher of positivism, my dear. 'Aging with a smile on your face' is the ONLY way to go.
Awesome . . . wonderful! . . . talented...? You talkin' to ME? You talkin' TO me? You TALKIN' to me? Thank you, Sherry, for those lovely adjectives. You are the nicest, smartest, most beautiful daughter I ever had.
Hi, midnightbliss. What a wonderful name. What visions it conjures up? Thank you for loving my funny hub. Aging can be a wonderful experience. All we need is the strength to handle it. And a powerful sense of humor.
Thanks for stopping by.
Oh my, DRBJ. You're too, too kind. - Thank you, dear heart. But yeah - I did feel dumpy on more than one occasion. Once I spent most of January recuperating from working my butt off making all kinds of beautiful Christmas presents from scratch and wrapping them beautifully without benefit of Hallmark for my own and my ex's families, plus all the cooking and making candy, etc, etc.,- only to end up feeling drained and totally unappreciated and so like a flop, plus I had a terrible cold, stayed in bed and cried a lot, feeling I'd lost any glimmer of elegance I ever might have had, if not my whole personality.
Then a somewhat stuffy book titled "Elegance" by a Madame somebody, a Frenchwoman who was a big-wig at a Paris couture house, - Dior, I think, - jumped off the shelf and into my hands. It was kind of an Emily Post type guide, but for personal grooming and behavior, full of 1950s propriety about elegant manners and the bit with the little white gloves and hat with a veil and all that, (much like I'd worn for my glamourous job before I married). But what ultimately got through to me about it all was that it really was about having an inner glow show through, a pleasant attitude, self-forgetfulness and genuine caring about others. However it happened, that sort of revived my spirits and even got me out of the poverty mentality into which I'd sunk. (I HAD to make the presents; - there really wasn't enough money to buy them!) So oddly - it was an unlikely bit of a turning point in my life.
I'm thinking how much fun it would be to make the presents this year and not care about how or if they're appreciated. Heck, everyone has more stuff than they can use and enjoy anyway! tee hee. :-)
That was funny... and then I realized that some of those bullets were starting to describe me. But, what they hey, the Wii Fit told me yesterday my kids were actually older than I was based off of their coordination and stuff. Ha ha
Great hub!
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." This phrase completes very well a very nice Hub! Thank you for this funny moment of truth.
p.s. - I recalled the term from Jamie Lee's commercial: 'slow intestinal transit'. (blush) Is it hilarious, or what? I almost fell over laughing when I first heard it on there. Have to wonder whether it's a reaction to the ad being challenged with making false medical claims. hehe
Well for someone who claims to be as old as dirt, your memory is certainly serving your well. For all the brilliantly crafted hubs your write, the interviews are pure genius and now to this fun little ditty on old age. I am moving on up the ladder to and some of these certainly I could relate to, especially the glasses on top of my head, I've done that so many times.
I had a person laughing in front of me and wouldn't tell me till she was almost peeing her panties. She finally yelled, there on the top of your freaking head man. LoL....gotta love that woman..no way jose...lol I could have given her a smack as Mr Connery would have done. he he he.
Thanks for the great laughs drbj, you sure know how to make us all do that with your creative antics...
OMG (Oh my God) This hub made a grown man like me who is almost 60. Did I say 60? I meant 40 cry. The piece on George Carlin was the rainmaker for me. This hub was terrific. I really enjoyed reading it. You rock!!!!!!
What lovely comments, Nellieanna, they could be a sweet hub all by themselves. Isn't it strange sometimes what wonderful life lessons we learn from the most mundane things - such as making and wrapping Christmas presents.
But I must insist again, m'dear, you could never be dumpy - that just does not compute. :)
Hi, bg, Well, you can't be too upset that you were beginning to relate to some of these Old Age Benefits. Not when your Wii indicated you were younger than your kids, coordination-wise. They probably didn't take too kindly to that information.
Thanks for finding this funny and 'Great.'
Hi, fucsia. That Mark Twain really knew what he was talking about. Laughter makes the world go round. Thank you for visiting and describing my hub as 'this funny moment of truth.' What a nice comment, my dear.
Welcome, Ken, the (younger and better-looking) Sean Connery of Canada. Thank you for your sublime, laudatory comments. Now I no longer feel as old as dirt. As old as soil, perhaps ...
Delighted you enjoy my hubs and interviews. Isn't it funny how so many of us can relate to these various old age benefits - especially the glasses on top of the head syndrome? I don't believe for a minute though that you even thought of smacking that insenstivie woman who made such a rude comment. Sean, yes! You, Ken - never!
Delighted that you enjoy my creative antics and hope to be around long enough to create many more. So far, so good. :)
Hi, JRocco
So you're almost 60 - I mean, 40? Your secret is safe with me.
I'm delighted the Carlin video was so meaningful for you. He was something else wasn't he? Thank you for finding this hub terrific and enjoying it.
And since you used the expression, 'You rock!!!!!!,' to describe me, I know you are only 40! Right?
What a Refreshing, Laugh a Minute Hub, Drbj on Old Age...I'm beginning to really Enjoy some Maturity...Ha! I intend to fight it Every step of the way! And isn't 60 the new 40 and so on. Love your Humor! You are Cool...so how Old does that Expression make me...Mmm?
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your hub, drbj. I know what you are talking about. That joke is a classic and I'll be laughing for a long time.
Too old to die young is Billy Connelly's catch cry. You have a young at heart attitude which comes out in your writing. It's a well known fact that laughter is healthy, so this hub has added a few more years to my final score. It's not just a funny hub, but a well researched one. Cheers
Hi, b. Malin. "Refreshing and laugh-a-minute hub," you say? How discerning of you! Thank you for loving my humor. I love being called 'cool,' so I refuse to answer how old using that term makes either one of us ... the incrimination issue, you know.
Actually, I'll accept 'cool' or 'hot' as long as you don't use the term, 'tepid.'
Hi, Hanna. Thank you for stopping by and enjoying this hub. How can you know what I'm talking about? You are much too young, m'dear - if not in age, certainly in personality and spirit. Trust me.
Knew you would love that fave joke of mine. Delighted I could give you a laugh.
Keith, you are a sweetheart. Thank you for that lovely comment that I "have a young at heart attitude which comes out in (my) writing." I have always believed that about myself and it is a great pleasure to have it confirmed by others.
Yes, laughter is healthy so keep on laughing and you will live a long, healthy life. Promise! Cbeers to you, too, mate. (Didn't know I could speak your language, didja?)
Hi, drbj - oh, you really made me laugh with this one. One of the really cool things about old age (that you mentioned) is that you can still terrorize your friends and relatives while driving. I was just riding around with a very strong, very vital 79 year old yesterday, and she scared the wits out of me. I remember when it was the 18 year old who scared me but I've learned a new lesson!
Oh, Dolores, if I made you laugh, then my mission is accomplished. And my dear, you made me laugh when you recounted the tale of riding with a 79-year old 'who scared the wits out of' you.
We have a number of drivers in my neck of the woods who drive like that but I can understand. It may be one of the few 'pleasures' left! :)
Thanks for visiting. Come back any time. What was your name again, dear?
Ha-ha! I thought I had heard every old person joke out there but your Hub proves you're never to old to learn new "old age benefits". Loved it all especially that wrinkled sock tip :)
Hi, Hilary - I knew you would love these old age benefits and with your vibrant sense of humor, the wrinkled sock benefit would be most appealing. It's one of my all-time favorites, too. Thanks for making this trip, m'luv.
Such a funny hub :) I had a wonderful time reading it not realizing that very soon I will be one of the old haggard woman :)
but, oh well...let me enjoy the moment ;)
Thank you, Ruchira, for reading my 'funny hub.' Yes, you will get older, but haggard? No way! If your mind stays active, then your body tries even harder to keep up. Trust me, I know!
You got me both laughing and crying this morning. Your rhymes are hysterical, but I'm afraid George just about did me in. Then the finish, Sam and the doctor, got me right back to laughing. Guess I'm not dead yet! Beautifully put together...up and funny and shared at Not So Old Broads on Facebook.
What a sweet heart you are, Sally. Thank you, thank you for sharing this on Facebook. We 'not so old broads' need all the help we can get.
Laughing and crying at the same time? Perhaps you should increase your meds. :)
Happy to see you enjoyed my fave joke and cartoon, too. I do appreciate your stopping by.
Hilarious! I so enjoy your writings. They put me in a good mood. Laughter is good for the soul. Thank you for sharing your creative gifts with us. You brighten up the HubPages.
I already see some of those warning signs! I used to tell my dad that as he got older he started having furniture problems - his chest was falling into his drawers:).
oh this is priceless, you at your fnest-- laughed myself silly.
Oh, James, I so enjoy your visits and comments. You are so spot on: laughter IS good for the soul - and your health, too. Your sweet words brighten up my day even more! As that great sage, Milton Berle, once said: "Laughter is an instant vacation." Amen.
Nope, Kelly, you're too young for those old age signs. You won't start falling apart for another ten to twelve ... months! :)
So your dad had furniture problems. Love that one. You know I'll use it. Somehow. Some way. Some time. Thanks.
What an outstanding comment, Becca. You "laughed yourself silly" reading this? So did I, my love, writing it!
Here's to more hilarity wherever we are fortunate enough to find it.
drbj, what a lovely hub! It certainly made me smile - I'm 43 but so much of it applies, since I'm living with my aging parents. I'm so aware of the passage of time and the fragility of life - too much of my day and life is spent with either mine or their doctors, hospitals. But we certainly grab at life and love and humor at every chance we get and go away on vacation at every opportunity.
I think it was Garth Brooks that sang, "I'm much too young to feel this old." (only in body, not in mind or spirit)
I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.
James Broughton
I don't think you or Nellieanna will ever be old to me, I look at you both as women I would love to grow into. Reflective and mature with playfulness and abandon.
Take care, wonderful hub, voted way up!
Very amusing as always drbj. As getting older isn't optional I decided I might as well enjoy it, and just like Shakespeare's Cleopatra 'age cannot wither her nor custom stale her infinity variety'. I am also delusional, but another of the benefits of age is that nobody mentions it or points it out!
Well drbj, I'm convinced that the best thing you take into old age is a sense of humour and you've got that in spades.
Loved the Carlin video too, which I found strangely moving...it's all true!
Cheers
Dear Erin - Thank you for your lovely comments and taking the time to share some personal info. You are much appreciated. Since you are living with aging parents, you know whereof I write when it pertains to old age (?) benefits.
Delighted to hear that your inner child is ageless. So is mine and so, I believe, is Nellieanna's. Keeps us young at heart. Am I reflective and playful? Yes!!! Mature? NOT! Probably never will be. And thank you, thank you, m'dear for the up!
Thank you finding this amusing, CM. You are so right; old age is not optional. And it's a heck of a lot better than the alternative!
That was a lovely Shakespearean quote. 'Infinite variety' works for me unless it pertains to where did I leave the car keys?
As far as being delusional, that's my favorite state - it makes life so much more interesting. :)
Thank you, Jane, for recognizing how important a sense of humor is especially as we age. And thanks for the compliment. I usually do try to find the funny side of most situations.
Delighted you enjoyed the George Carlin video as much as I do. We could use more of his ironic humor these days. Cheers backatcha m'luv.
Very inspiring hub. We all on the way now. Of course, all of us must be pass this age. But I hope the spirit always young. I love this hub and very enjoyable to read. Nice presentation, beside all the beautiful pictures and the video as well. Vote up and have a nice weekend.
Prasetio
Great hub! I will have to pass this on. My mother-in-law always told me to watch out for CRS. She claimed it was highly contagious as one grew older. I think it happens at any age myself. Great job! I am still laughing.
Dear pras, you are so right. We are all on the way to old age the moment after we are born. But although growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Would you agree?
Thank you for your gracious comments and the up. It is always my pleasure to have you visit.
Hi, tip - your mother-in-law is spot on. CRS has no age limitations. I would write more about that universal ailment but I've already forgotten what I planned to write. Thanks for your kind comments and laughter. You make my . . . er, my . . . uh, well you know what I mean. :)
We, here at Hubpages, all deserve you and your brilliant, hilarious master-pieces! Am I blue? No. Am I annoyed? No. Am I worried? No. Will I complain? No. Am I angry? No. Am I depressed? No. Am I in pain? No. Am I tired? No. Am I happy? Of course I am...I just read the funniest hub in town! Am I hungry? Yes...for more of drbj's writings. Am I at peace? Yes...because I have just laughed myself to death!
vocalcoach~
I am absolutely thrilled to pieces, exquisitely little pieces at that, to learn, Audrey, that you are not blue, annoyed, worried, complaining, angry, depressed, in pain, or tired.
To learn that I have made you happy with my 'funniest hub in town' - thank you, thank you - makes me happy, too. Trust me. But please, dear, don't laugh that hard! :)
Bud-wiser! hahaha! I feel OLD after reading this hub! I also feel good because I'm not that old yet! I am soooo confused, is that a sign of old age? Geez. FANTASTIC HUB! I'm sharing it with my elderly friends :))
Anyone who appreciates my Budweiser comment is my kind of friend, Sunshine. You should feel fine since you are definitely not as old as me yet. No one is that old.
And if you recognize that you are confused, that is a sign that all is rght in your world. It's when you don't know it that you're in trubble with a capital T.
Thank you for the 'fantastic hub' comment. Please be my guest and share it with everyone!
Wonderful, funny hub. Loved reading it! Thank you.
So nice to meet you, Gypsy Willow. Thank you for loving my 'wonderful, funny hub.' That makes at least two of us. And no thanks are necessary; entirely my pleasure, my dear.
Drbj an old woman went to the doctor and said 'Dr, I think I've got Alzeimers'? The Doctor said- 'Dont worry, just go home and forget about it.!
That's perfect, psychicdog. So on the mark. You know I'll use it.
What fun you decribed me to a tee
O G, I described you to a T?
R U OK with that, ethel, or R U at C?
It's always such a treat to read your hubs drbj. I need to come by more often (if I could only remember). My mom will get a kick out of this one. Good job on the poem.
Thank you, Duchess, what a nice comment: 'a treat to read.' Please remember to come by whenever you can - I just started a new series of funny puns - the first is "Funny Pun - Number One" with Stanley the Snail. And let me know what your mom thinks, too.
Glad I came. The downside - this added to my "laugh lines."
Thank you, sweethearts2, for making the trip. Sorry about the added laugh lines but the health benefits of laughter far outweigh any downside. At least, that's what I keep telling myself!
drbj: What hilarious coordination of artistry, humor, meter and philosophy! You had me belly laughing at the beginning, the end and everywhere in-between. Thank you!
Oh, Derdriu, how lucky I am to have found a commenter such as yourself with such perspicacity and wit to recognize my unique and hilarious combination of artistry, humor, meter and philosophy. Thanks for laughing everywhere. Your comment, m'luv, is rated up!
I came here to find out something about benefits I might get as I get older. You gave me something much better! Laughter.
Next time someone calls and says "Sorry, did I wake you?" just say "No you didn't. I had to wake up anyway to answer the phone."
Thanks for a million laughs. You should have heard me laugh when I read about Sam going for his annual checkup. Really! Thanks. I voted up, awesome, and of course, funny.
How nice to meet you here, Glenn. So glad you wanted to find out more about old age benefits. And like you, I believe that laughter keeps us young - at least at heart and in spirit. Will definitely use your phone answer - it has a certain kind of appeal to me.
Delighted I gave you a million laughs and the Sam joke is one of my favorites, too. Thank you for the up, awesome and funny.
Good lord, BJ - you still got it - sorry I missed so many of your other gems as well! I gotta love the joke and all the quotes - they are all too true. Carlin surely had the wit didn't he? I think it's too bad we have to grow old but then as I always point out to my peers...it surely beats the alternative~~
Voted up and outta here!!
What a pleasure to have you back, Audrey. I thought perhaps it was something I said. Or wrote. Or thought. Absolutely delighted that you loved the jokes, the quotes and the Carlin. He was a hoot!
You are spot on about not preferring the alternative. For me, I intend to wear spurs and dig in my heels all the way! Thank you m'luv, for the visit, the up and outta here.
Old age - if we didn't laugh about it, we could get depressed! Thanks for many laughs here. Love the story about the 126 year old grandfather! and everything else, too! Voted up, up, up!
I'm with you, Stephanie, laughter is the only antidote to aging. Though good health does help a bit. You are more than welcome for the laughs and the joke. That 126-year old roue is my kind of guy! Thank you for the multiple 'ups,' you are my kind of commenter.
What a hilarious hub! My favorite part of this hub is the last part - your favorite old age jokes. You're one of the few blessed writers who can present things in such a hilarious way.
How nice to see you here, lex123. Thanks for the visit and finding this hub hilarious. Delighted you enjoyed the old age jokes. Laughter is the only way to stay yound at heart!
'Who says he wants to?' - The best line ever!
I love reading your hubs, and I have to tell you a short joke here. I don't know if it exists in the English language, but it does in mine :)
Two elderly ladies are having a conversation in front of a TV and one asks the other:
'What's the name of that German fellow who always hides our remote?'
That is a great line, isn't it? Thanks for loving my hubs and thanks for the joke but I have to admit I'm stumped. I understand the first part but the German guy who hides that TV remote? I haven't got a clue? Help me out, please.
His name is Alzheimer :)
Mea culpa, mea culpa, nemanja. Thanks, I should have guessed. Oh, no, I hope he's not visiting ny home, too. :)
Yes, drbj, I thought you would guess :) If your writing abilities and your wits are any indicator, the German fellow is far from your neighborhood, my friend!
Thank you, nemanja, I feel so much better. It's strange that the name, Alzheimer, never entered my mind. Instead of thinking of German literary names, I should have concentrated on medicine and psychiatry. Appreciate the feedback though.
a great hub
Nice to meet you, Johan. A 'great' hub is my favorite kind.
tlmcgaa70 Level 6 Commenter 7 months ago
i am only 41 and there were to many things i could relate to in this little ditty...:o( still great hub...and i still dont mind growing old...it is just a physical state...my spiritual state is eternal and does not age.