Why Did the Chicken Really Cross the Road
This is one of those questions of the ages: Why did the chicken cross the road? “To get to the other side” is much too simplistic an answer.
So I dusted off my one-of-a-kind supernatural helmet that allows me to communicate with famous great minds, now deceased.
And I asked them: ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’
Here are their responses.
Isaac Newton (1642-1727): I know the answer to that question, but cannot remember it since I received a terrific concussion when gravity caused that apple to fall on my head.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955): The chicken crossed the road because it knew ‘the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.'
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527): The chicken crossed the road because it understood, ‘Never was anything great achieved without danger.’
Colonel Sanders (1890-1980) - Kentucky Fried Chicken -: The chicken crossed the road because I was chasing that little rascal.
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826): The chicken crossed the road because it was exercising its right to ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’
Aristotle (384-322 BC): The chicken had courage. It knew that … ‘courage is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.'
Karl Marx (1818-1883): The chicken crossed the road to get to the Worldwide Chicken Convention because it realized that ‘Cluckers of the world (must) unite.’
Heraclitus of Ephesus, Turkey (535-475 BC): The chicken crossed the road because it realized ‘there is nothing permanent except change.’
Socrates (469-399 BC): ‘One thing I know, that I know nothing. This is the source of my wisdom.’
George Harrison (Beatles) (1943-2001): ‘If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.’
Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet) (1694-1778): I may not agree with what the chicken did, ‘but I will defend to the death its right to do it.’
My favorite chicken joke
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a country road when he was passed by a three-legged chicken. He stepped on the gas but at 60 miles per hour, the chicken was still ahead. After a few more miles, the chicken ran up a driveway and into a barn behind an old farmhouse.
The salesman drove up to the house and knocked on the door. When he told the farmer what he had just witnessed, the farmer was not surprised. He said that his son was a geneticist and had developed this breed of three-legged chicken so that the farmer, his wife and his son could each have a drumstick.
“That’s fantastic,” said the salesman. “How do they taste?”
The farmer replied, “We have no idea – we can’t catch ‘em.”
Sigmund Freud (1856-1939): The chicken crossed the road because 'a person (chicken) who has been the indisputable favorite of its mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror.'
Plato (427-347 BC): The chicken crossed the road because it knew ‘necessity is the mother of invention.’
John Wayne (1907-1979): Listen up, chicken: ‘Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.’
Charles Darwin (1809-1882): The chicken was aware that … 'in the long history of humankind and animal kind, too, those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.'
Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) (1904-1991): ‘Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.’
Robert Frost (1874-1963): I heard the chicken say: ‘But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.’
Lao Tau (604-531 BC): ‘A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.’
Mark Twain (1835-1910): The chicken knows: ‘We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.’ … Because 'to succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.'
Confucius (Kong Qiu) (551-479 BC): 'Wherever you go, go with all your heart.'
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900): The chicken walked across the road because it knew: 'All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.'
Mae West (1893-1980): You go, girl. ‘'You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.'
- History of Buffalo Wings
Do you know what a Buffalo wing is? And who invented it? And its Super Bowl connection? Here are the answers to those burning questions.
And from great minds who are still living:
Yogi Berra, former Major League baseball player: The chicken was simply following my advice: ‘When you come to a fork in the road, take it.’
Woody Allen: ‘I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.’
Bill Clinton: ‘I never had sex with that chicken.’ Oops! Sorry!
My favorite humor quote:
"When humor goes, there goes civilization." - Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2014. All rights reserved.
Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."
